Am I Self Sabotaging My Relationship Quiz

In 10 minutes, see whether protective habits may be blocking closeness, trust, or repair in your current or recent relationship. Get three clear scores free with no sign-up, plus a balanced take that keeps safety and context in view.
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Questions1510 minutes
Hi! My name is Freudly, i am an AI therapist, I will give you an interpretation of the test after you complete it.
08:30
July 22, 2026
July 22, 2026
Material has been updated
81 view
1 completion
20 likes
Verified by Daniel Hall
Psychologist with 25 years of experience
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Scale Explorer

How the Scales are Structured

example score
8/15
Conflict and Repair (CaR)
Measures how often disagreements escalate and how reliably you and your partner can de-escalate and complete repair afterward.
Constructive pattern
Inconsistent repair
Disruptive cycle
05Constructive pattern610Inconsistent repair1115Disruptive cycle
A score of 8 suggests repair is sometimes effective, but some conflicts may turn defensive or linger unresolved once the focus shifts from solving to winning.
example score
2/15
Protective Withdrawal (PW)
Protective Withdrawal reflects how often increasing vulnerability or closeness leads you to create emotional or physical distance in a relationship.
Limited pattern
Situational pattern
Frequent pattern
05Limited pattern610Situational pattern1115Frequent pattern
A score of 2 suggests withdrawal is not a strong pattern for you, and you generally stay engaged even when things feel emotionally close.
example score
6/15
Reassurance and Testing (RaT)
Measures how often you seek repeated reassurance or use indirect “tests” of a partner’s care, especially when interpreting ambiguity as potential rejection.
Limited pattern
Situational pattern
Frequent pattern
05Limited pattern610Situational pattern1115Frequent pattern
A score of 6 suggests a situational pattern where uncertainty sometimes leads to checking, comparison, or indirect bids for proof rather than direct requests.
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DATA-BASED USER COHORTS

Who Usually Takes This Test?

Anxious in relationships
41%OF USERS
People who worry about being left and find themselves checking, overthinking, or needing frequent reassurance.
Pulling away when close
34%OF USERS
People who want connection but distance, shut down, or get critical when things start feeling serious or emotionally intense.
Post-fight pattern seekers
25%OF USERS
People who notice the same conflict cycles repeating and want to understand how their reactions may be affecting repair and trust.
BASED ON AGGREGATED, ANONYMIZED DATA FROM TENS OF THOUSANDS OF FREUDLY USERS.
Benchmarking

See How You Compare

Once you complete the test, your results are compared with real-world data from people in your country.
Below is a preview of how scores are typically distributed across each scale.
Conflict and Repair (CaR)
Average
9.6
Normal range
7.212.1
min.
0
max.
15
Majority
This curve shows how scores are typically distributed.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.
Protective Withdrawal (PW)
Average
4
Normal range
2.16
min.
0
max.
15
Majority
This curve shows how scores are typically distributed.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.
Reassurance and Testing (RaT)
Average
6.6
Normal range
49.3
min.
0
max.
15
Majority
This curve shows how scores are typically distributed.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.
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CLEAR ANSWERS TO COMMON QUESTIONS

Frequently Asked Questions

What does this quiz measure?
It screens for protective habits that may interfere with closeness, trust, or repair in a current or recent relationship. It reports three separate scores covering distancing, reassurance-seeking, and conflict patterns.
How long does it take and how many items are included?
Completion typically takes about 10 minutes. The quiz includes 15 questions.
How should responses be selected?
Answer based on typical behavior in the relationship being considered, not on rare events. If unsure, select the option that best matches what happens most often.
How should the results be interpreted?
Results are informational and do not provide a diagnosis or determine fault. Stress, incompatibility, and a partner’s behavior can also contribute to relationship difficulties.
What if the relationship includes threats, coercion, or fear?
Prioritize safety and seek support from someone trusted or a qualified professional. Do not use the results to remain in an unsafe situation.
WHAT THE TEST MEASURES
About This Assessment

Am I Self Sabotaging My Relationship Quiz - Symptoms and Signs

Explore whether protective habits may be getting in the way of closeness, trust, or repair in your current or most recent relationship. This free, no-sign-up quiz reflects on distancing, reassurance-seeking, and conflict patterns across three separate scores. It is not a diagnosis or proof that relationship difficulties are your fault. Stress, incompatibility, and a partner’s behavior also matter. If coercion, threats, or fear are present, prioritize safety and seek support from someone you trust or a qualified professional.

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