Love Is Like War Test

In 3 minutes, learn how you handle relationship conflict, from manipulation to passivity to playful ease. Get clear, practical insight to set boundaries and improve communication fast.

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Questions: 153 minutes

08:30

October 2, 2025

October 2, 2025
Material has been updated

October 2, 2025
Material has been published

22,075 views

2,032 completions

1,705 likes

Verified by Daniel Hall

Psychologist with 25 years of experience

Scale Explorer

How the Scales are Structured

example score

34/60

Total Score (TS)

Measures how consistently you maintain balance, fairness, and principled boundaries when navigating relationship conflict.

Imbalanced

Balanced

Rigid/Extreme

15 – 29: Imbalanced | 30 – 49: Balanced | 50 – 60: Rigid/Extreme

A score of 34 falls in the Balanced range, suggesting a generally fair, steady approach to conflict with a willingness to help while keeping things even.

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DATA-BASED USER COHORTS

Who Usually Takes This Test?

In Relationship Conflict Loop

41%OF USERS

People who keep running into the same fights with a partner and want to understand their default conflict style before it escalates again.

Post-Breakup Pattern Seekers

34%OF USERS

Recently single people trying to make sense of what went wrong and spot whether they played the schemer, the victim, or the peacemaker.

Curious Drama-Free Daters

25%OF USERS

People who like quick self-tests and want a light but revealing check on how they handle tension while dating without turning it into a big deal.

BASED ON AGGREGATED, ANONYMIZED DATA FROM TENS OF THOUSANDS OF FREUDLY USERS.

Benchmarking

See How You Compare

Once you complete the test, your results are compared with real-world data from people in your country.
Below is a preview of how scores are typically distributed across each scale.

Points scored (Ps)

Average

32.2

Normal range

23.7 — 40.7

min.

max.

This curve shows how scores are typically distributed.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.

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SAMPLE QUESTIONS

Example Questions From the Test

- Arrive 30 minutes later than the agreed time.
- Threaten that one day you will get tired of waiting for him.
- Give him a watch.
- Behave the same way yourself.
- You would be happy for her.
- You would ask whether she has something to wear it with.
- You would lie and say it does not fit her well.
- You would ask where she got the money for it.
- Look through them, then throw them away.
- Ask what they are not getting from you.
- Hide them away and not think about them.
- Give them a porn film and leave.

These are 3 of the 15 real questions — the rest appear in the test. No sign-up needed to start.

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WHAT THE TEST MEASURES

About This Assessment

Love Is Like War Test - Symptoms and Signs

relationships

The measure is designed to explore how an individual typically responds to interpersonal conflict and tension in romantic contexts. Love Is Like War presents brief relationship scenarios intended to elicit common interaction strategies (e.g., assertive, avoidant, or manipulative responses) and may support discussion of perceived roles in conflict. It was developed by Z. Rubin.

The instrument consists of 15 items and typically takes about 3 minutes to complete. Scores are generally interpreted as an overview of preferred conflict-management style rather than a diagnostic indicator; results should be considered alongside clinical interview and relevant contextual information. In clinical or coaching settings, Love Is Like War may be used as a structured prompt to clarify patterns, identify areas for skills-building, and guide further assessment when indicated.

Author: Z. Rubin

Literature: Hendrick, S. S., & Hendrick, C. Love styles. In R. J. Sternberg & M. L. Barnes (Eds.), The psychology of love. Yale University Press. 1988.