Is My Relationship Moving Too Fast Quiz
How the Scales are Structured
Who Usually Takes This Test?
See How You Compare
Below is a preview of how scores are typically distributed across each scale.
Example Questions From the Test
- Some, although one or two commitments came before I had as much context as I wanted.
- Very little; major commitments are already being treated as settled.
- Enough for the commitments we have made so far to feel proportionate.
- Less than I would prefer, and multiple commitments are already being discussed or made.
- They are a little ahead of where my thoughts are, but they remain exploratory.
- They include firm expectations or promises that feel far ahead of what we currently know.
- They match the level of commitment I currently feel able to discuss.
- They happen often enough that I feel carried toward a future I have not chosen yet.
- I am informed early, but momentum sometimes builds before I have fully responded.
- My hesitation is heard, yet plans often continue as though agreement is inevitable.
- I participate in deciding whether and when the plan should happen.
- Plans are announced or committed to for me, and objecting feels difficult or risky.
Is My Relationship Moving Too Fast Quiz - Description and methodology of the test
People who feel uncertain about a relationship’s momentum can use the Is My Relationship Moving Too Fast Quiz to decide whether to pause a major step, ask for more space, or clarify expectations. For someone asking whether they are moving too fast in their relationship, the result provides a structured prompt for considering what to discuss before acting on intensity or pressure.
What This Assessment Measures
The assessment separates relationship speed from the experience of having room to choose. It suits people who feel a connection is intense, difficult to slow, or unevenly negotiated. The question of whether you are moving too fast together is examined through contact, privacy, outside relationships, future plans, and major commitments.
The scales describe the result dimensions:
- Boundaries and Autonomy (0-15) measures time, privacy, routines, outside relationships, and space: Space preserved (0-5), Autonomy under strain (6-10), Boundaries need attention (11-15).
- Commitment Pace (0-15) measures whether contact, plans, labels, and commitments outpace comfort: Measured momentum (0-5), Pace worth reviewing (6-10), Strong acceleration signals (11-15).
- Pace Communication and Alignment (0-15) measures shared discussion and participation in decisions: Broadly aligned (0-5), Important gaps (6-10), Major disconnect (11-15).
Together, these scores show whether momentum feels manageable, autonomy narrows, or agreement about pace weakens.
Methodology and Evidence Base
Each prompt presents a relationship situation with four response choices. The choices describe contrasting experiences, including comfortable pacing, acceleration, pressure, monitoring, and difficulty refusing a step; their order does not represent a progression. Selected answers contribute to displayed scale totals, but no separate rule states how many points each option adds.
Progression bias (Joel & MacDonald, 2021) provides the closest conceptual comparison: romantic involvement can gather momentum before partners have enough information to assess later commitments. This questionnaire is conceptually consistent with that work, not an adaptation. Dobson, Ogolsky, and Stanton (2023) show why commitment asymmetry and asynchrony matter when readiness differs.
Pressure, monitoring, restricted contact, and costly disagreement are read alongside coercion research. Dutton and Goodman (2005) describe constrained choice, while Lehmann, Simmons, and Pillai (2012) frame controlling behavior. When a partner’s pace raises concern, pressure, behavior, and freedom to respond matter more than gender.
Because responses depend on self-report, current context, memory, and disclosure, results should be read as prompts to examine what feels comfortable and what needs discussion, while the displayed bands are reflective guides rather than universal timelines, clinical cutoffs, or validated relationship and safety thresholds.
- Joel, S., & MacDonald, G. (2021). We’re Not That Choosy: Emerging Evidence of a Progression Bias in Romantic Relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 25(4), 317-343. 10.1177/10888683211025860
- Dobson, K., Ogolsky, B. G., & Stanton, S. C. E. (2023). So where do you see this going? The effects of commitment asymmetry and asynchrony on relationship satisfaction and break-up. European Journal of Social Psychology, 53(5), 890-905. 10.1002/ejsp.2942
- Dutton, M. A., & Goodman, L. A. (2005). Coercion in Intimate Partner Violence: Toward a New Conceptualization. Sex Roles, 52(11-12), 743-756. 10.1007/s11199-005-4196-6
- Lehmann, P., Simmons, C. A., & Pillai, V. K. (2012). The Validation of the Checklist of Controlling Behaviors (CCB): Assessing Coercive Control in Abusive Relationships. Violence Against Women, 18(8), 913-933. 10.1177/1077801212456522
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