Emotional Abuse Test

This self-report measure is designed to identify experiences consistent with emotional abuse within an intimate relationship. Developed by John Gottman and Neil Jacobson, the Emotional Abuse Test uses the Emotional Abuse Questionnaire (EAQ) to assess a range of nonphysical abusive behaviors as reported by the respondent — including coercive control, intimidation, humiliation, and manipulation. It consists of 52 items and typically takes about 10 minutes to complete.

Why Take an Emotional Abuse Test

Emotional abuse is often harder to name than physical abuse — there are no visible injuries, and the behaviors involved (constant criticism, controlling who you see, jealousy framed as love, isolating comments, subtle threats) frequently escalate gradually enough that they become normalized within the relationship. Many people who are experiencing emotional abuse spend a long time wondering whether what they're going through "counts," or blaming themselves for their partner's behavior.

A structured test for emotional abuse replaces that uncertainty with specifics. Instead of asking whether the relationship "feels bad," the EAQ asks about concrete, observable behaviors — how often a partner restricts contact with friends, uses humiliating language, or applies pressure through guilt or intimidation. This specificity matters: naming a pattern clearly is often the first step toward taking it seriously and seeking support.

This emotional abuse quiz is also useful for people who are unsure whether their relationship qualifies as emotionally abusive versus simply difficult or high-conflict — a distinction that can be hard to make from the inside, especially when a partner minimizes or denies the impact of their behavior.

What the Assessment Measures

The EAQ assesses a partner's behavior across several domains of emotional abuse:

• Isolation — the extent to which a partner restricts social contact, controls who you spend time with, or expresses jealousy that limits your independence
• Degradation and humiliation — insults, criticism, and psychologically humiliating pressure that undermines dignity and self-worth
• Intimidation — behaviors intended to instill fear, including threats, aggressive displays, or controlling reactions
• Manipulation and coercive control — patterns designed to control decisions, restrict autonomy, or create dependency within the relationship

Respondents rate how often each behavior has occurred in the relationship. Scores indicate the level and pattern of emotional abuse indicators present — with different domains, such as isolation, having their own established score ranges reflecting low, moderate, or pronounced concern.

Who This Assessment Is For

This Emotional Abuse Test was originally developed to assess a woman's experience of emotional abuse by a male partner, and results may not generalize to other relationship structures without caution. It is appropriate for anyone whose relationship feels persistently distressing and who wants a structured way to clarify whether emotional mistreatment is present. Therapists, social workers, and students use the questionnaire to screen for emotional abuse and track change over time in counseling or research settings.

Clinical Validity and Use in Practice

The EAQ supports systematic discussion of specific abusive patterns rather than relying solely on global impressions, and may be used in clinical and research settings for initial assessment and to monitor change over time. Results should be interpreted in context with clinical interview and other relevant information — they are not, by themselves, sufficient to establish a diagnosis or make determinations about safety. If you are in immediate danger, contact local emergency services or a domestic violence hotline rather than relying on this questionnaire alone.