Am I the Problem in My Relationship Quiz
Understand how your habits may affect relationship tension in about 10 minutes. Get clear, nonjudgmental insight on conflict, boundaries, and repair with 15 quick questions.


08:30
Scale Explorer
How the Scales are Structured
DATA-BASED USER COHORTS
Who Usually Takes This Test?
BASED ON AGGREGATED, ANONYMIZED DATA FROM TENS OF THOUSANDS OF FREUDLY USERS.
Benchmarking
See How You Compare
Once you complete the test, your results are compared with real-world data from people in your country.
Below is a preview of how scores are typically distributed across each scale.
Below is a preview of how scores are typically distributed across each scale.
Accountability and Repair (AaR)
Accountability and Repair (AaR)
Average
11
Normal range
8.3 — 13.7
min.
0
max.
15
This curve shows how scores are typically distributed.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.
Communication During Conflict (CDC)
Communication During Conflict (CDC)
Average
5.3
Normal range
2.8 — 7.7
min.
0
max.
15
This curve shows how scores are typically distributed.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.
Respect for Autonomy and Boundaries (RfAaB)
Respect for Autonomy and Boundaries (RfAaB)
Average
9.4
Normal range
7.5 — 11.3
min.
0
max.
15
This curve shows how scores are typically distributed.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.
Once you complete the test, your result will appear on the scale so you can see how you compare.
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SAMPLE QUESTIONS
Example Questions From the Test
- Ask for a suitable time, then describe the specific behavior I want to discuss.
- Bring it up when there is an opening, while trying to soften the message.
- Hint that something is wrong and see whether they ask about it.
- Hold it in until my frustration makes the issue come out more forcefully.
- Make a direct, specific request while leaving room for them to respond honestly.
- Explain how I feel and hope they can work out what would help.
- Use hints or small tests to see whether they notice what I need.
- Stay quiet about the need but become more upset when it is not met.
- I check what they heard and briefly restate my point in clearer words.
- I try another explanation, although I may sound more frustrated.
- I add more examples until they recognize why my position makes sense.
- I stop engaging because continuing while misunderstood feels pointless.
WHAT THE TEST MEASURES
About This Assessment
Am I the Problem in My Relationship Quiz - Symptoms and Signs
This free, no-sign-up quiz helps you reflect on habits that may contribute to tension with a partner or family member. Explore how you handle accountability, conflict, repair, autonomy, and boundaries without reducing a complex relationship to a blame-based verdict. It cannot diagnose either person or determine who is “the problem.” Another person’s harmful behavior is not your responsibility. If there are threats, coercion, stalking, forced contact, or violence, prioritize safety and contact local emergency services, a relationship-abuse resource, or someone you trust.
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