Was My Ex a Narcissist Quiz
How the Scales are Structured
Who Usually Takes This Test?
See How You Compare
Below is a preview of how scores are typically distributed across each scale.
Example Questions From the Test
- They mocked my vulnerability or later used personal disclosures against me.
- They exploited my distress to force compliance or threatened serious consequences if I sought support.
- They responded with care, even when they did not fully understand what I needed.
- They seemed uncomfortable or withdrew at first, but later checked in.
- They intentionally drove dangerously, threatened a crash, or refused to let me leave the vehicle.
- They became distracted by the argument but corrected their driving when I raised concern.
- They drove faster, tailgated, or ignored my repeated requests to slow down.
- They kept driving normally or pulled over so the conflict did not affect safety.
- They accepted the decision without trying to punish or pressure me.
- They threatened self-harm, retaliation, exposure of private material, or serious damage to my life to make me stay.
- They asked more than once to reconsider but eventually respected my answer.
- They bombarded me with messages, enlisted other people, or repeatedly used guilt after I asked them to stop.
Was My Ex a Narcissist Quiz - Description and methodology of the test
For someone reviewing a difficult past relationship, this questionnaire organizes concrete experiences into patterns involving safety, autonomy, consent, and accountability. The Was My Ex a Narcissist Quiz is intended for people who want to examine conduct rather than assign a personality label. It can help name controlling behavior in a past relationship when a former partner’s conduct remains confusing or difficult to describe.
What This Assessment Explores
Rather than estimating narcissism itself, the assessment asks about observable responses to vulnerability, disagreement, separation, privacy, money, social support, apologies, and sexual boundaries.
For this kind of reflection, this questionnaire organizes recurring patterns of controlling ex-partner behavior without making a personality label the central question. The three displayed dimensions are:
- Control and Physical Safety (0-15) summarizes intimidation, surveillance, confinement, dangerous driving, threats, force, or interference with movement; bands are Review complete (0-0), Signals to consider (1-2), and Support-focused response (3-15).
- Emotional Manipulation and Accountability (0-15) summarizes coercion, humiliation, blame shifting, retaliation, and responses to harm; bands are Review complete (0), Signals to consider (1-2), and Support-focused response (3-15).
- Personal and Sexual Boundaries (0-15) summarizes privacy violations, pressure, consent problems, bodily autonomy, and disregard for personal limits; bands are Review complete (0), Signals to consider (1-2), and Support-focused (3-15).
Methodology and Scientific Basis
Each item presents four descriptions, from respectful or protective responses to concerning conduct. Choices describe events and impact, not a former partner’s personality. The themes organize experiences involving control, harm, accountability, and boundaries.
Results are presented as scale totals within displayed bands; the questionnaire has no standardised or validated weighting system for interpreting them. Individual endorsed experiences must be considered separately: a 3-point red-flag response overrides the aggregate score, particularly when threats, force, confinement, immediate danger, or sexual contact without consent occur.
This questionnaire examines emotional manipulation in a past relationship by directing attention to specific experiences rather than a personality label. Its closest published comparator is CASR-SF; this questionnaire is conceptually consistent with its attention to physical, emotional, and sexual abuse but is not an adaptation. Earlier Composite Abuse Scale work adds context for construct coverage.
As an unvalidated self-report summary, this questionnaire is sensitive to memory, current emotion, fear, shame, and pressure to minimize or emphasize events. Interpret totals within displayed bands alongside individual experiences and context, not as a diagnosis, severity cutoff, or forecast of future danger.
- Marilyn Ford-Gilboe, C. Nadine Wathen, Colleen Varcoe, Harriet L. MacMillan, Kelly Scott-Storey, Tara Mantler, Kelsey Hegarty, and Nancy Perrin. (2016). Development of a brief measure of intimate partner violence experiences: the Composite Abuse Scale (Revised)-Short Form (CASR-SF). BMJ Open, 6(12), e012824. 10.1136/bmjopen-2016-012824
- Kelsey Hegarty, Robert Bush, and Mary Sheehan. (2005). The Composite Abuse Scale: Further Development and Assessment of Reliability and Validity of a Multidimensional Partner Abuse Measure in Clinical Settings. Violence and Victims, 20(5), 529-547. 10.1891/vivi.2005.20.5.529
- Kelsey Hegarty, Mary Sheehan, and Cynthia Schonfeld. (1999). A Multidimensional Definition of Partner Abuse: Development and Preliminary Validation of the Composite Abuse Scale. Journal of Family Violence, 14(4), 399-415. 10.1023/A:1022834215681
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