Is He Using Me Quiz

In about 10 minutes, the Is He Using Me Quiz presents 15 questions about pressure, one-sided use, threats, and boundary violations. Your result can help you notice patterns in the relationship, reflect on what is happening, and consider clearer limits, trusted support, or safety planning where needed.

Questions: 1510 minutes

Is He Using Me: situation and reply bubbles

July 22, 2026July 22, 2026Material has been updatedJuly 22, 2026Material has been published

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Daniel Hall Psychologist · Test reviewer

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Scale Explorer

How the Scales are Structured

Emotional Control and One-Sided UseECaOSU

Measures signs of emotional control, coercion, or one-sided use in a current or recent relationship.

example score6/15

6/15Act on the concernexample score

0No indicators endorsed

1 – 2Something to examine

3 – 15Act on the concern

A score of 6 falls in the “Act on the concern” range, suggesting repeated or impactful patterns of emotional control or one-sided use that merit added support and clearer boundaries.

Physical Safety and ThreatsPSaT

Assesses indications of physical intimidation, threats, restraint, weapon involvement, directed violence, or injury in the relationship.

example score8/15

8/15Act on the concernexample score

0No indicator endorsed

1 – 2Something to examine

3 – 15Act on the concern

A score of 8 falls in the “Act on the concern” range, suggesting multiple physical-safety warning signs were endorsed and should be taken seriously on their own.

Sexual Boundaries and PressureSBaP

Measures signs of sexual-boundary violations, coercion, pressure, or reproductive interference in the relationship.

example score9/15

9/15Act on the concernexample score

0No indicator endorsed

1 – 2Something to examine

3 – 15Act on the concern

A score of 9 falls in the “Act on the concern” range, indicating multiple endorsed signs of sexual pressure or boundary violations that warrant attention regardless of intent.

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DATA-BASED USER COHORTS

Who Usually Takes This Test?

Doubting a new relationship

41%OF USERS

People noticing mixed signals early on and wondering if attention, money, sex, or favors are being taken without real care in return.

Feeling pressured or controlled

34%OF USERS

People experiencing guilt, jealousy, threats, sexual pressure, or monitoring and wanting a clearer picture of whether the situation is becoming unsafe.

Recovering after a breakup

25%OF USERS

People looking back on a recent connection to make sense of red flags, rebuild boundaries, and feel confident about what happened.

BASED ON AGGREGATED, ANONYMIZED DATA FROM TENS OF THOUSANDS OF FREUDLY USERS.

Benchmarking

See How You Compare

Once you complete the test, your results are compared with real-world data from people in your country.
Below is a preview of how scores are typically distributed across each scale.

Shaded area — where most people score

Dot — the average

You — your score lands on each curve after the test— your score, after the test

Emotional Control and One-Sided UseECaOU

You?

Average9

Typical rangeTypical6.5 – 11.5

Possible0 – 15

Physical Safety and ThreatsPSaT

You?

Average4.8

Typical rangeTypical2.1 – 7.5

Possible0 – 15

Sexual Boundaries and PressureSBaP

You?

Average8.7

Typical rangeTypical6.5 – 10.8

Possible0 – 15

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SAMPLE QUESTIONS

Example Questions From the Test

- He keeps a nonthreatening distance or pauses the discussion when emotions rise.
- He paces, raises his voice, or shuts a door hard, but does not direct physical force toward me.
- He crowds me, corners me, or uses his size and proximity to make me back down.
- He has pushed, hit, kicked, choked, burned, or otherwise physically injured me.
- He waits until I am awake, clear-headed, and actively able to agree.
- He has initiated while I was very tired but stopped immediately when I seemed uncertain.
- He minimizes signs of impairment or encourages more drinking when sexual activity is being discussed.
- He has attempted or engaged in sexual activity while I was asleep, unconscious, or unable to consent.
- He does not use objects or property to express intimidation.
- He has slammed down an object or struck furniture in frustration without directing it toward me.
- He has repeatedly punched walls, broken his own objects, or damaged the surroundings in a way that frightened me.
- He has thrown an object at me, destroyed my belongings to frighten me, displayed a weapon, or caused an injury.

These are 3 of the 15 real questions — the rest appear in the test. No sign-up needed to start.

WHAT THE TEST MEASURES

Is He Using Me Quiz - Description and methodology of the test

For someone questioning whether a partner’s requests, pressure, or reactions are crossing a line, the Is He Using Me Quiz offers a structured way to examine relationship experiences. Its behavior-focused questions make this a how to know if a guy is using you quiz grounded in conduct rather than guessed motives. They bring requests, refusal, isolation, money, sex, threats, or blocked exits into one review.

What This Assessment Explores

These items examine emotional control, coercion, intimidation, deception, withdrawal, and repeated one-sided use across situations. They cover conduct that can make someone less free to leave, seek support, protect privacy, or decide about contraception, as well as patterns involving sex, money, help, or access. The focus is observable conduct and impact, not whether one disagreement proves motive.

Questions about money, help, transport, housing, favors, and fabricated emergencies make this an is he using me for money quiz. Repeated benefit-taking, emotional leverage, or deception can signal one-sided use even when caring behavior is present.

Sexual access, intimate images, reproductive choices, and consent make this an is he using me for my body quiz about pressure. A result in this area highlights pressure or boundary violations to examine; it does not assign a label or prove why a partner acted.

Methodology and Scientific Basis

Four ordered descriptions run from respectful to concerning conduct; choose the closest fit. Bands are unvalidated reflective summaries, not clinical, legal, or severity cutoffs. Results group concerns into three scales:

Emotional Control and One-Sided Use (0-15) measures emotional control, coercion, deliberate exploitation, withdrawal, and repeated one-sided patterns in context; bands: No indicators endorsed (0), Something to examine (1-2), Act on the concern (3-15).
Physical Safety and Threats (0-15) measures threats, blocked exits, violence, or injury; bands: No indicator endorsed (0-0), Something to examine (1-2), Act on the concern (3-15).
Sexual Boundaries and Pressure (0-15) measures sexual pressure, refusal violations, image threats, or reproductive interference; bands: No indicators endorsed (0), Something to examine (1-2), Act on the concern (3-15).

The questionnaire is conceptually consistent with C-CAS, CASR-SF, Reproductive Coercion Scale, and Revised Conflict Tactics Scales, but is not a validated adaptation of them. It focuses on observable acts and patterns, not on an is he just using me quiz about motives or whether his motives are genuine. Self-report varies with context; any concerning experience matters independently, and a score-3 red flag should be acted on.

Literature:

Hegarty, Kelsey, Cynthia Brown, Elizabeth McLindon, Kelly M. FitzPatrick, and Laura Tarzia. "Validation of the Coercive-Composite Abuse Scale (C-CAS) in an Australian sample of women experiencing intimate partner abuse." BMJ Open 16(6) (2026): e115748. 10.1136/bmjopen-2025-115748
Ford-Gilboe, Marilyn, C. Nadine Wathen, Colleen Varcoe, Harriet L. MacMillan, Kelly Scott-Storey, Tara Mantler, Kelsey Hegarty, and Nancy Perrin. "Development of a brief measure of intimate partner violence experiences: the Composite Abuse Scale (Revised)-Short Form (CASR-SF)." BMJ Open 6(12) (2016): e012824. 10.1136/bmjopen-2016-012824
McCauley, Heather L., Jay G. Silverman, Kelley A. Jones, Daniel J. Tancredi, Michele R. Decker, Marie C. McCormick, S. Bryn Austin, Heather A. Anderson, and Elizabeth Miller. "Psychometric properties and refinement of the Reproductive Coercion Scale." Contraception 95(3) (2017): 292-298. 10.1016/j.contraception.2016.09.010
Straus, Murray A., Sherry L. Hamby, Sue Boney-McCoy, and David B. Sugarman. "The Revised Conflict Tactics Scales (CTS2): Development and Preliminary Psychometric Data." Journal of Family Issues 17(3) (1996): 283-316. 10.1177/019251396017003001

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