Does My Mom Love Me Quiz
How the Scales are Structured
Who Usually Takes This Test?
See How You Compare
Below is a preview of how scores are typically distributed across each scale.
Example Questions From the Test
- She gives them limited attention but can usually name some things that matter to me.
- She regularly ridicules my interests or exposes personal details to shame me.
- She shows curiosity and remembers at least some details over time.
- She rarely asks and often treats my interests as pointless or irritating.
- She listens and shows interest, even if the topic is not important to her personally.
- She is sometimes engaged, but distraction or a short response is common.
- She often minimizes the news or quickly makes the conversation about something else.
- She mocks what matters to me or later uses the information to embarrass or control me.
- She offers guidance while allowing reasonable room for my identity and choices.
- She expresses strong preferences, but some negotiation is possible.
- She relies on guilt, comparison, or silent treatment to force agreement.
- She threatens to withdraw essential care or destroy important relationships unless I comply.
Does My Mom Love Me Quiz - Description and methodology of the test
People who feel uncertain about a mother’s care can use the Does My Mom Love Me Quiz to organize difficult experiences into observable patterns rather than reduce a relationship to one feeling. It is intended for self-reflection when support, warmth, boundaries, or reactions to disagreement feel confusing. The result can help someone decide whether maternal relationship concerns call for a conversation, firmer boundaries, or trusted support.
What This Assessment Explores
Items cover interests, news, distress, privacy, autonomy, practical needs, disagreement, and repair. Focus is observable interaction: dependable care, emotional responsiveness, and boundaries without punishment. Items focus on behavior, including emotional support from a mother, rather than asking you to infer affection.
The three result dimensions are:
- Dependable Support Concerns (0-15) flags inconsistent or unavailable care, including withheld or coercive support; poverty, disability, crises, or unavailable services may shape unmet needs without erasing the need for care. Bands: No concerns indicated (0), Notice and reflect (1-2), and Take seriously (3-15).
- Emotional Availability Concerns (0-15) reflects dismissal, distancing, or limited comfort; bands are No concerns indicated (0), Notice & reflect (1-2), and Take seriously (3-15).
- Respect and Repair Concerns (0-15) captures boundary violations, humiliation, coercion, or failed repair; bands are No concerns flagged (0), Notice and reflect (1-2), and Take seriously (3-15).
Methodology and Scientific Basis
Each item presents a concrete situation with four response descriptions, and the respondent selects the closest match. The choices cover supportive, inconsistent, dismissive, controlling, or threatening interactions, keeping attention on specific experiences rather than an abstract verdict about love. A result can help when someone wonders why their mother does not seem loving by directing attention to specific experiences.
Conceptually, the questionnaire is consistent with Lum and Phares’s Emotional Availability of Parents measure, Parker, Tupling, and Brown’s parental-bonding work, and Barber’s psychological-control model. It is not an adaptation of those instruments; it is an online questionnaire using related domains for reflection.
Responses are grouped into the three displayed concern scales and interpreted through their reflective bands. This supports reflection on parental emotional availability without treating a total as a verdict. Each endorsed concern matters independently, and a score-3 red flag overrides the total. The displayed bands are unvalidated reflective summaries rather than clinical or legal cutoffs. Self-report is affected by memory, current conflict, fear, and self-awareness, so the result cannot establish diagnosis, intent, or safety on its own.
- Lum, Joyce J., and Vicky Phares. (2005). Assessing the Emotional Availability of Parents. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment, 27(3), 211-226. 10.1007/s10862-005-0637-3
- Parker, Gordon, Hilary Tupling, and L. B. Brown. (1979). A Parental Bonding Instrument. British Journal of Medical Psychology, 52(1), 1-10. 10.1111/j.2044-8341.1979.tb02487.x
- Barber, Brian K. (1996). Parental Psychological Control: Revisiting a Neglected Construct. Child Development, 67(6), 3296-3319. 10.1111/j.1467-8624.1996.tb01915.x
- Bernstein, David P., Judith A. Stein, Michael D. Newcomb, Edward Walker, David Pogge, Taruna Ahluvalia, John Stokes, Leonard Handelsman, Martha Medrano, David Desmond, and William Zule. (2003). Development and validation of a brief screening version of the Childhood Trauma Questionnaire. Child Abuse & Neglect, 27(2), 169-190. 10.1016/S0145-2134(02)00541-0