Scale of Covert and Overt Emotional Abuse, SOPAS Test - the question form
Questions: 35 · 7 minutes
1. How often does he mislead you?
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – All the time
2. Acts as if they know what you did when they were not around.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
3. Blames you for making them angry or upset.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
4. Changes their plans but does not tell you until the last moment, when it is already too late.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
5. Tries to prevent you from having interests that they are not involved in.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
6. Does or says things that harm your self-esteem or your sense of dignity.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Always
7. Encourages you to do something and then, in some way, prevents you from doing it.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
8. Puts down, criticizes, or dismisses things you enjoyed or liked.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
9. Gets more upset than you do when you tell them how you feel.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – All the time
10. Makes you feel guilty if you did something he did not want you to do.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Always
11. Gives you the impression that nothing you say will have any effect on them.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
12. Puts you in a position of having to choose between what they want and what you want or need.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
13. Says or does things to make you feel unloved and unattractive.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
14. Makes you doubt that you can take care of yourself on your own.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – All the time
15. Makes you feel guilty about something you did or did not do.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
16. In an affectionate, playful, or serious way, how often does he use your words against you (e.g., you admitted you made a mistake and he brings it up later)?
1 - Never
2 - A couple of times
3 - Rarely
4 - Sometimes
5 - Often
6 - Constantly
17. Makes you doubt your emotional health and well-being.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
18. Suggests that you should fix something they did that turned out badly.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
19. Puts their own needs first, without regard for what you want.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – All the time
20. Makes you doubt yourself and feel vulnerable and insecure.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
21. Reminds you of times when he was right and you were not.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – All the time
22. Says that their actions that hurt or upset you are for your own good, or will make you a better person.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Always
23. Says things that make you worry that you might be going crazy.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
24. Acts as if you are their property.
Never
A couple of times
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Always
25. Makes you feel anxious or afraid, even when you do not understand why.
1 – Never
2 – Happened a couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – All the time
26. Tries to stop you from going places or talking to other people.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Always
27. Prevents you from having time for yourself.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – All the time
28. Acts as if you are overreacting or getting upset too easily.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
29. Gets upset when you do something without their knowledge.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – All the time
30. Says that the problems in your relationship are your fault.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Always
31. Interrupts you or distracts you when you are doing something important.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
32. Blames you for their problems.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
33. Tries to prevent you from expressing your feelings.
1 - Never
2 - A couple of times
3 - Rarely
4 - Sometimes
5 - Often
6 - All the time
34. Tries to prevent you from doing what you want to do or need to do.
1 – Never
2 – A couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly
35. Tries to convince you that things happened the way they say, even though you know this is not true.
1 – Never
2 – It happened a couple of times
3 – Rarely
4 – Sometimes
5 – Often
6 – Constantly