Nonverbal Behavior Strategies in Conflict Situations Test - the question form
Questions: 15 · 3 minutes
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1. Before starting a conversation:
I clarify and choose the place, time, and situation so that I feel calm.
I use the time, place, and situation to achieve only my own goal.
I suggest meeting on neutral territory at a scheduled time, regardless of anyone’s personal preferences.
2. When positioning myself for a conversation, I prefer to take a position in the space that is:
so that each of us can see the other freely and there are no barriers between us (a table, a chair, etc.).
comfortable for me—so that I can feel protected and have something to lean on.
such that I can see the other person clearly at all times, and I have more opportunity to influence them and more freedom to move.
3. When taking a seat at a table with another person, I most often prefer to sit:
in a corner position
across the table
on the same side of the table
4. While the other person is speaking, I feel most comfortable:
to watch with interest how the other person's train of thought develops;
to lean toward them and nod my head to show agreement.
I very often feel like crossing my arms over my chest and crossing one leg over the other during the conversation.
5. During a serious conversation:
After learning the other person’s opinion in advance on the issue that concerns me and thinking through a plan, I control my behavior accordingly.
With a goal in mind, I adjust to the situation and prefer not to form a fixed opinion about the other person.
As the conversation goes on, I assess the other person’s position but do not say so openly.
6. When expressing my opinion:
I maintain intermittent eye contact (looking and looking away), trying to stay focused on the other person.
I maintain a steady, fixed gaze into the other person’s eyes without looking away, trying to detect their hidden intentions.
I have often noticed that I start adjusting my tie or shirt collar and try not to look the other person directly in the eyes.
7. When communicating information that is important to me:
I emphasize it through my tone of voice and pauses and stress its importance throughout the conversation, while realizing that I leave out the part of the information that could work against me or that I am not sure about.
In an even, calm voice, with clear pacing and pauses, I express my point, lean toward the other person, and watch for changes in their facial expression.
I state my position and my preferred way of resolving the issue confidently right away, and then listen to everything the other person has to say, but now knowing my decision.
8. When the other person does not let me speak and repeatedly interrupts me with comments:
I smile, joke it off, nod in agreement, and prepare to say my next sentence.
I pause, look at the other person, and ask them to let me finish and share their comments afterward.
I look at my watch, point out accepted rules of conversation, and suggest that we follow them.
9. If the other person persistently pressures me to accept their point of view:
I become tense and try to pull myself together, but my irritation is obvious to the other person, and I eventually express it.
I feel my shoulders and eyes drop; I try to look as if a pencil and paper interest me more than the conversation, and I act as if I do not understand what is being asked of me.
I nod and act as if I agree, but I keep my own opinion and think about what benefit I can get from the situation.
10. If the person I am speaking with raises their voice:
I withdraw and stay silent, trying to show through my facial expression that something is not appropriate in their behavior, and wait for them to realize it.
I slightly raise my voice, then gradually lower it and speak calmly, setting an example.
I suggest discussing everything more calmly; I pause while speaking, and my voice is relaxed.
11. If the topic of conversation has bored me and I have completely lost interest in it:
I turn away, look around the room, letting my gaze move from one object to another; I say that I am not interested, and if I want I can leave.
Without the other person noticing, I shift the conversation to a topic that is more interesting to me.
I try not to let the other person notice that I am bored, so I keep a neutral expression and think about something else.
12. In situations where we are discussing issues that are unpleasant for me:
I act as if I am upset and cannot discuss it right now, and suggest postponing the conversation.
I speak quickly, sometimes not very clearly, try to end the conversation, and leave as soon as possible.
I show that I am uncomfortable, but I am willing to discuss the issue openly and collaboratively.
13. When I realize that my position is incorrect:
I wait to see how the other person will act.
I raise my voice slightly and argue my position even more forcefully and emotionally, using gestures to emphasize what I say.
I continue as if nothing happened and do everything possible so the other person does not notice.
14. If I feel that my problem is not being resolved in the way I need:
A) I stop the other person, speak in an even, calm voice, and again call for a businesslike discussion of all the points.
B) I unexpectedly, with enthusiasm, tell a joke, an anecdote, or a funny story, and in this way throw the other person off balance.
C) I withdraw into myself, think things over, and wait for the situation to be finally resolved.
15. As I am wrapping up a conversation:
A) I periodically shift my gaze from my watch to the other person so that they notice and speed up their decision-making.
B) I try to maintain friendly relations, regardless of how the issue is resolved.
C) I stand up, showing through my behavior that I am dissatisfied with how the situation turned out.
1. Before starting a conversation:
I gather information and choose the place, time, and situation so that I feel calm.
I use the time, place, and situation to achieve only my own goal.
I suggest meeting in a neutral location at an agreed time, regardless of anyone’s personal preferences.
2. When positioning myself for a conversation, I prefer to take a position in space that is:
such that each of us can see the other freely and there are no barriers between us (a table, a chair, etc.).
comfortable for me—so that I can feel protected and have something to lean on.
such that I can see the other person clearly, and I have more opportunity to influence them and more freedom of movement.
3. When sitting at a table with another person, I most often prefer to sit:
at the corner of the table
across the table
on the same side of the table
4. While the other person is speaking, I feel most comfortable:
to watch with interest as the other person develops their thoughts;
to lean toward them and nod to show agreement;
I often feel like crossing my arms over my chest and crossing one leg over the other during the conversation.
5. During a serious conversation:
After finding out the other person’s opinion in advance on the issue that concerns me and thinking through a plan, I monitor and adjust my behavior accordingly.
With my own goal in mind, I respond based on the situation and prefer not to form a fixed opinion about the other person.
During the conversation, I assess the other person’s position but do not say so openly.
6. When expressing my opinion:
I maintain intermittent eye contact (looking and looking away), trying to stay focused on the other person.
I maintain an intense, unbroken gaze into the other person’s eyes, trying to discern their hidden intentions.
I have often noticed that I start touching my jewelry, adjusting my hair, and try not to look the other person directly in the eyes.
7. When communicating information that is important to me:
A) I highlight it with intonation and pauses and emphasize its importance throughout the conversation, while realizing that I leave out the part of the information that could work against me or that I am not sure about.
C) In an even, calm voice, with clear phrasing and pauses, I express my point, lean toward the other person, and observe changes in their facial expression.
B) I immediately state my position and my preferred solution confidently, and then listen to everything the other person has to say, but now knowing my decision.
8. When the other person does not let me speak and keeps interrupting me with comments:
I smile, make a joke, nod in agreement, and prepare to say my next remark.
I pause, look at the other person, and ask for time to finish and share my comments afterward.
I look at my watch, draw the other person's attention to accepted rules of conversation, and suggest that we follow them.
9. If the person I am talking with persistently pressures me to accept their point of view:
I tense up inwardly and try to pull myself together, but my irritation is obvious to them and I eventually voice it.
I feel my shoulders and eyes droop; I try to look as if a pencil and paper interest me more than the conversation, and I act as if I do not understand what they want from me.
I nod and pretend to agree, but I keep my own opinion and think about what benefit I can gain.
10. If the other person raises their voice:
I withdraw, stay silent, and try to show through my facial expression that something is not right in their behavior, waiting for them to realize it.
I slightly raise my voice, then gradually lower it and speak calmly, setting an example.
I suggest discussing everything more calmly; I pause as I speak, and my voice is relaxed.
11. If I become bored with the topic of conversation and lose interest in it:
I turn away and look around the room, shifting my gaze from one object to another; I say that I am not interested, and if I want, I can leave.
Without the other person noticing, I shift the conversation to a topic that is more interesting to me.
I try not to let the other person notice that I am bored, so I keep a neutral expression and think about something else.
12. When we are discussing topics that are unpleasant for me:
I act as if I am upset and cannot discuss it right now, and suggest postponing the conversation.
I speak hurriedly, sometimes not very clearly, trying to end the conversation and leave as soon as possible.
I show that I am uncomfortable, but I am willing to discuss it together openly and with trust.
13. When I realize that my position is mistaken:
I wait to see how the other person will act.
I raise my voice slightly and defend my position with even greater conviction and emotion, using gestures to emphasize what I say.
I continue as if nothing happened and do everything I can so the other person does not notice.
14. If I feel that my problem is not being resolved the way I need it to be:
I stop the other person, speak in an even, calm voice, and again call for a businesslike discussion of all aspects.
I unexpectedly and enthusiastically tell a joke, an anecdote, or a funny story, catching the other person off guard.
I withdraw into myself, think, and wait for the situation to be finally resolved.
15. When bringing an interaction to a close:
I repeatedly shift my gaze from my watch to the other person so they notice and speed up their decision-making.
I try to maintain friendly relations, regardless of how the issue is decided.
I stand up, showing through my behavior that I am dissatisfied with how the situation turned out.