Chen's Attachment Style Test - the question form
Questions: 36 · 7 minutes
1. At times, I lose my sense of self in the relationship.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
2. I feel that I lose sight of my own needs or neglect myself in the relationship.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
3. I make compromises that I later regret.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
4. I value it when my partner does things for me on their own initiative, rather than only when I have to ask.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
5. When I ask my partner for something and get what I want, I may still feel dissatisfied.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
6. I feel as though my partner does not understand me.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
7. When my partner does not keep their word, I take it personally.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
8. It upsets me when my partner interprets a certain action as a sign that I do not care, when in fact it is the opposite.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
9. I worry that my partner and I are too different from each other.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
10. Before I ask for help, I have to struggle with myself for a long time.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
11. When I think about my parents, it is hard for me to imagine either of them looking at me with admiration and pride.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
12. Any unfairness in the relationship hurts me deeply.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
13. In this relationship, it is easy to balance independence and closeness.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
14. My partner can grow and develop as much as they need to, and this does not threaten our relationship.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
15. I find it easy to make commitments and follow through on them.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
16. I need my partner as much as they need me.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
17. When things are not going well with my partner, I am patient and wait for the right solution to come on its own.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
18. We have conflicts, even when no one is to blame.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
19. I tell my partner everything. If I do not mention something, it is only because I know it is not important.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
20. When we disagree with each other, I do my best to find a solution that works for both of us.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
21. If I put my own priorities aside to support my partner, I trust that I will also receive support later.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
22. I can simply ask my partner for what I need, and it usually works.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
23. When my partner and I argue, I take charge of the situation and try to make sure we both feel comfortable.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
24. When my previous relationships ended, the decision was mutual and well considered.
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
25. I find it hard to stay patient when...
people do not understand me
I am stuck doing something I do not like
26. Potentially important new relationships may end if the partner…
makes no effort to maintain the relationship
is too pushy
27. Conflict is...
an opportunity to let out what has built up
generally something unproductive
28. When I am angry with my partner, I...
feel a need to say everything directly
prefer to handle everything on my own
29. In this relationship, I feel worst when...
I feel abandoned or rejected
something is being forced on me or I feel pressured
30. In this relationship, I want to feel...
as close a connection with my partner as possible
at ease
31. When my emotions feel overwhelming, I...
prefer to vent by talking with someone
find an outlet for my energy (e.g., exercise, work, etc.)
32. There are certain things I do not tell my partner because...
the person might be disappointed and leave me
it is my business, and no one needs to know about it
33. My partner is more likely to complain that I…
criticize and blame them
do not take as active a role in the relationship as they would like
34. When we spend time apart, I...
feel sad and miss them
feel glad to have time for myself
35. If I feel hurt by my partner, I recover...
when I get what I need
fairly quickly without help from others
36. I would be more upset if my partner...
did not tell their friends anything about me
told their friends something that would make me feel embarrassed