Was My Ex a Narcissist Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. How did your ex respond when you were distressed or emotionally vulnerable?
They mocked my vulnerability or later used personal disclosures against me.
They exploited my distress to force compliance or threatened serious consequences if I sought support.
They responded with care, even when they did not fully understand what I needed.
They seemed uncomfortable or withdrew at first, but later checked in.
2. When your ex was upset while driving, which description fits best?
They intentionally drove dangerously, threatened a crash, or refused to let me leave the vehicle.
They became distracted by the argument but corrected their driving when I raised concern.
They drove faster, tailgated, or ignored my repeated requests to slow down.
They kept driving normally or pulled over so the conflict did not affect safety.
3. When you tried to end the relationship or create distance, what was their response?
They accepted the decision without trying to punish or pressure me.
They threatened self-harm, retaliation, exposure of private material, or serious damage to my life to make me stay.
They asked more than once to reconsider but eventually respected my answer.
They bombarded me with messages, enlisted other people, or repeatedly used guilt after I asked them to stop.
4. If you changed your mind during sexual activity, what happened?
They stopped promptly and checked what I needed.
They continued, restrained me, threatened me, or treated an earlier yes as permanent permission.
They stopped but later centered their disappointment or sought reassurance from me.
They delayed stopping, questioned my decision, or kept persuading after I withdrew consent.
5. After separation, how did your ex handle your physical space and whereabouts?
They sought updates through others or appeared in expected social places more often than felt comfortable.
They accepted the separation and did not monitor or pursue me.
They repeatedly appeared uninvited, tracked me, entered my space, threatened me, or made me fear physical harm.
They repeatedly checked my location or turned up after I had clearly asked for distance.
6. What best describes how your ex treated private information or images you shared?
They disclosed an intimate image, threatened to release one, or used private material to coerce me.
They occasionally overshared, then acknowledged it and adjusted when I objected.
They shared personal details after I had clearly asked them not to or used those details to embarrass me.
They asked permission and kept sensitive material private.
7. When you disagreed about something important, how did your ex usually respond?
They listened, stayed with the issue, and allowed us to see it differently.
They repeatedly questioned my memory or framed my feelings as proof that I was the problem.
They became defensive or changed the subject, but sometimes returned to it later.
They humiliated, threatened, or deliberately punished me to stop the disagreement.
8. If you asked for time alone, how did your ex react?
They repeatedly intruded, flooded me with contact, or turned the request into a prolonged accusation.
They respected the request and agreed on when we might reconnect.
They threatened serious consequences, appeared where I was without permission, or made it dangerous to take space.
They seemed hurt or anxious but generally gave me the requested time.
9. During heated arguments, what was the most concerning behavior you experienced?
They raised their voice or followed me after I asked for space, but did not threaten or physically confine me.
They paused the argument when either of us needed space.
They blocked an exit, used a weapon, hit, choked, restrained, injured, or deliberately terrified me with physical force.
The exchange became loud, but they accepted a request to pause soon afterward.
10. How did your ex handle access to your phone, messages, or online accounts?
They asked about privacy expectations and respected the limits we agreed on.
They sometimes sought reassurance or asked to see something, but accepted no.
They secretly checked devices, pressured me for passwords, or treated privacy as evidence of betrayal.
They installed tracking, impersonated me, threatened exposure, or punished me for refusing access.
11. How did your ex respond to your relationships with friends, relatives, or other supportive people?
They expressed insecurity at times but did not interfere with those relationships.
They threatened, confined, harmed, or imposed serious consequences to prevent contact.
They respected my independent relationships and did not make me choose sides.
They repeatedly created conflict, monitored contact, or pressured me to withdraw from support.
12. When you said no to sexual contact or intimacy, what most closely followed?
They accepted my answer without making me manage their reaction.
They continued, restrained me, threatened me, or used force despite my refusal.
They showed disappointment but did not keep pushing.
They repeatedly asked, argued, sulked, or used guilt to wear down my answer.
13. Apart from ordinary shared budget limits, what role did your ex play in your access to money, work, or essentials?
We discussed constraints openly, and I retained meaningful access and choice.
They criticized some spending, but I still controlled my own access and decisions.
They monitored purchases, demanded permission, or used money to make leaving harder.
They took earnings, sabotaged work, withheld essentials, or threatened deprivation to control me.
14. After your ex hurt you, which apology pattern best matches what happened?
They gave vague apologies but rarely discussed how to prevent a repeat.
They named what they had done, heard its impact, and made a genuine effort to change.
They retaliated for raising it, deliberately distorted clear events, or threatened consequences if I persisted.
They apologized but shifted most of the responsibility onto me or the circumstances.
15. What happened when your ex described relationship conflicts to other people?
They knowingly spread damaging claims, exposed sensitive information, or recruited others to intimidate me.
They sometimes told a one-sided version while looking for validation.
They routinely presented themselves as faultless while privately demeaning me and dismissing my account.
They protected my dignity and acknowledged that both perspectives existed.