Trauma Bond Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. While this person is driving or controlling another form of transport, what happens during conflict?
They drive or operate it normally and do not use movement as leverage.
Their criticism or agitation distracts me and makes the journey feel tense.
They drive recklessly or refuse a reasonable request to stop or let me out.
They threaten a crash, trap me in the vehicle, deliberately strike something, or cause injury.
2. After this person insults, humiliates, or harshly criticizes you, what most often follows?
They minimize it at first but can later acknowledge some of the impact.
They take responsibility, make room for my response, and show sustained change.
Intense affection or promises bring relief, but the same treatment repeatedly returns.
They blame me and threaten abandonment, exposure, or retaliation if I discuss what happened.
3. During conflict, which description best matches how access to warmth or communication is handled?
Affection or contact is withheld until I give in, apologize, or prove my loyalty.
Either person may request space, with a clear and respectful plan to reconnect.
Communication sometimes becomes noticeably cooler, although I can still raise my concerns.
Long silences or sudden rejection leave me scrambling to restore the relationship on the other person's terms.
4. How are your physical boundaries treated outside mutually agreed affection, sport, caregiving, or play?
Unwanted contact stops immediately when I object, but the boundary crossing concerned me.
I am gripped, shoved, cornered, or physically overpowered to intimidate me.
My boundaries are checked and respected without pressure.
I have been hit, kicked, choked, burned, restrained, injured, or otherwise subjected to forced physical harm.
5. How are agreements about contraception, pregnancy, fertility, or protection from infections handled?
Agreements and changes are discussed before sexual activity, and my decision is respected.
They repeatedly complain or bargain after I state what protection or boundary I require.
They use guilt, affection, or relationship pressure to push me away from an agreed boundary.
They sabotage or remove protection, lie about its use, interfere with contraception, or threaten reproductive consequences.
6. Looking at the full cycle after a physically intimidating incident, which pattern is closest?
There has not been physical intimidation, and ordinary affection is not used to erase safety concerns.
A tense physical gesture is followed by an apology, and I remain uncertain about whether it will recur.
Intimidating displays are followed by gifts, intense closeness, or promises that repeatedly pull me back without lasting change.
Force, restraint, threats, or injury are followed by affection or remorse that pressures me to minimize what happened.
7. When you depend on this person for care, money, transport, housing, communication, or emotional support, what happens?
Limits are discussed openly, and I am not punished for having needs or seeking alternatives.
Support is inconsistent because of real constraints, but the person is transparent and does not use the situation to control me.
Help or affection is withheld to make me comply, compete for approval, or feel indebted.
Essential support is deliberately withheld while threats, deception, or restrictions prevent me from finding another option.
8. When you say “no,” “stop,” or indicate that you do not want sexual contact, how does the person respond?
They stop immediately and do not punish, pressure, or interrogate me about it.
They keep asking or testing the boundary before eventually stopping.
They sulk, withdraw affection, accuse me of rejection, or create consequences for refusing.
They continue, use force, make threats, or prevent me from leaving.
9. Which description best reflects how objects or the environment are handled during tense moments?
A door or object is handled roughly in frustration, without being directed at me, and it still unsettles me.
Objects are thrown toward me, a weapon is displayed as a threat, or I have been injured.
Property is deliberately smashed, punched, or thrown to frighten or control me.
Objects are handled without intimidation, threats, or destructive displays.
10. When you imagine setting a firm boundary or leaving the relationship, which response feels closest?
I expect sadness or a difficult conversation, but I believe my decision would be respected.
Memories of exceptional tenderness quickly make me dismiss recurring harm.
I worry that I may be unfair or may regret it, even without being pressured to stay.
I fear threats, stalking, exposure, self-harm threats used to control me, or retaliation against me or others.
11. During an argument, what happens if you try to move away or leave the room?
They may follow or stand close enough to make leaving uncomfortable, but they do not physically obstruct me.
They let me move freely and do not use their body or surroundings to intimidate me.
They block or lock an exit, take away mobility aids or keys, restrain me, or forcibly move me.
They question why I am leaving but step back when I ask for space.
12. How connected do affection, commitment, or relationship security feel to agreeing to sexual activity?
Disappointment is sometimes noticeable enough that I feel mild pressure, even though my refusal is ultimately accepted.
Warmth, attention, or promises of commitment are repeatedly withdrawn until I agree.
Affection and security are not made conditional on sexual access.
I am threatened with harm, exposure, abandonment, punishment, or consequences unless I participate.
13. Suppose you want to spend time with friends, relatives, coworkers, or another support person. How does the person respond?
They use threats, punishment, surveillance, or practical restrictions to stop the contact.
They may voice discomfort, but they recognize that the decision is mine.
They support my independent relationships without requiring proof of loyalty.
They create guilt, repeated check-ins, or conflict that makes maintaining other relationships difficult.
14. If intimate photos, videos, messages, or sexual details are involved, which situation is closest?
They ask repeatedly after I decline, but have not shared or taken anything without permission.
They seek specific permission for creating, keeping, or sharing material and accept my answer.
They use guilt, loyalty tests, or relationship pressure to obtain material or access.
They record or share without consent, secretly keep material, or threaten exposure or exploitation.
15. What best describes sexual contact when you are asleep, unconscious, heavily intoxicated, medicated, or otherwise unable to choose freely?
They engage only when I am clearly able to understand, choose, and communicate consent.
They have pushed for sexual talk or touch while I felt foggy, but paused after I raised uncertainty.
They treat earlier consent or the relationship itself as permission when my ability to choose is impaired.
Sexual activity has occurred when I could not consent, or I later learned it occurred while I was incapacitated.