Readiness for Family Life Assessment Test Card - the question form
Questions: 10 · 2 minutes
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1. Your partner is having problems at work:
Express dissatisfaction; criticize her for being slow, not getting along with her supervisor, and not handling work issues
Maintain a calm, friendly attitude, sometimes offering comfort and sharing her disappointment
Show empathy and tenderness; try to calm her and support her confidence that she is right
2. Hosting guests (parents, relatives, and friends):
A simple reception without much enthusiasm; tea and conversation about family problems and news
A reception without enthusiasm and without appropriate signs of respect; the conversation may at times reflect dissatisfaction
A formal reception with a festive table, guests' favorite dishes, and a cultural/entertainment program
3. Joint shopping and grocery planning:
Shared discussion of plans, with all family members taking an appropriate but active part in carrying them out
Unilateral decision-making: one spouse gives instructions and the other carries them out
Indifference toward the upcoming plans, negative remarks about them, followed by criticism of what was done and arguments about it
4. "I don't have time; I'm working":
Comments such as, "Work stays at work; at home, time is for family and personal life"; a negative, sometimes irritable reaction to work-related problems
Understanding of the spouse's busyness, though without particular interest in the spouse's profession
Respect for the spouse's profession and achievements; genuine interest in the spouse's work and work-related concerns
5. Caring for household comfort and appearance (cleanliness of clothing and linens; cleaning the home; preparing meals taking different preferences into account):
Thoughts such as: "Perfect order at home is my dream, but I cannot manage on my own; I need a helper and motivation."
A preference for doing household chores independently, with an appropriate acceptance of constructive feedback and suggestions, without refusing helpful assistance.
Thoughts such as: "I agree that having order at home is good, but I have no desire to do it; if someone else took on cleaning, laundry, and cooking, I would be very glad."
6. Sexual relations:
Restraint and moderation in seeking sexual satisfaction
Sexual relations take a dominant place in family life; everything else is secondary
Sexual activity is given lower priority; main interests focus on financial security, social status, and work
7. Caring for and raising children:
Thinking along the lines of: "Let’s live for ourselves; it won’t be too late to think about a child in a few years"; "A child is needed in the family, but I want no more than one"
A desire to have as many children as possible
A desire to have two or three children
8. Approach to raising children:
Giving the child opportunities for self-direction, freedom of choice, and independence in actions
Striving for the child’s well-rounded development (intellectual, emotional, and physical)
Setting intellectual and athletic/physical inclinations against each other; focusing on one-sided development of abilities
9. Self-improvement within the family:
Supporting each person’s well-rounded development, individual mastery of skills, and building an active life stance
Development as a pair (everything only as a couple, always together), with mutual restriction of social activity
Leisure without specific aims, encouraging unstructured free time
10. Choice and development of sociability:
A preference for modest behavior in public; conscientious work is not linked to seeking general attention, but the ability to stand up for one’s views is valued
The main priority is the ability “not to stand out, to be inconspicuous in communication outside the family, and sometimes even at home”
A desire to improve one’s manners and communication skills, and to represent one’s family and oneself with dignity
1. A young man is having problems at work:
Dissatisfaction, reproaches about being slow, not knowing how to get along with his supervisor, and not being able to handle work-related issues
Calm, friendly attitude, sometimes offering comfort and sharing his disappointment
Empathy, tenderness, trying to calm him and support his confidence that he is right
2. Hosting guests (parents, relatives, and friends):
A simple reception, without much enthusiasm; tea is served while discussing family problems and news
A reception without any enthusiasm, with no appropriate signs of respect; the conversation sometimes includes expressions of dissatisfaction
A formal reception, with a festively set table, the guests’ favorite dishes, and a cultural/entertainment program
3. Shopping together and planning groceries:
Plans are discussed cooperatively, and all family members take an active part to the extent they are able
Decisions are made unilaterally: one spouse gives instructions and the other carries them out
Indifference toward what is planned, negative comments about the plans followed by criticism of what was done and arguments about it
4. "I don't have time; I'm working":
Reasoning such as, "Work is for work, and at home time should be for family and personal life"; a negative, sometimes irritable reaction to work-related problems
Understanding of the spouse's being busy, but without particular interest in the spouse's profession
Respect for the spouse's profession and achievements, with genuine interest in the spouse's work and work-related concerns
5. Caring about comfort, aesthetics at home, and the cleanliness of clothing and linens; cleaning the home and preparing meals to accommodate different tastes:
Thoughts such as: "My dream is to have perfect order at home, but I cannot manage on my own; I need a helper and motivation."
A preference for doing household tasks independently, with an appropriate acceptance of friendly criticism and suggestions, without refusing useful help.
Thoughts such as: "I agree that having order at home is good, but I have no desire to do it; if someone else took on the cleaning, laundry, and cooking, I would be very happy."
6. Sexual relations:
Restraint and moderation in pursuing sexual satisfaction.
Sexual relations take a dominant place in family life; everything else is of secondary importance.
Sexual life is pushed into the background; main interests are focused on financial security, social prestige, and work.
7. Attitudes toward having children:
Thoughts such as: “Let’s live for ourselves; it won’t be too late to think about a child in a few years”; “A child is needed in the family, but I want no more than one.”
A desire to have as many children as possible.
A desire to have two or three children.
8. Approach to raising children:
Allowing the child to educate themselves, with freedom of choice and action
Striving for the child’s well-rounded development (intellectual, emotional, and physical)
Emphasizing either intellectual abilities or sports/physical abilities; focusing on one-sided development of skills
9. Self-improvement within the family:
Supporting each person’s well-rounded development, developing skills individually, and fostering an active life stance
Growing through constant pairing (everything only as a couple, always together), with mutual restriction of social activity
Leisure without goals or aspirations, encouraging unstructured free time
10. Choosing and developing social skills:
Modest behavior in public is appealing; conscientious work is not tied to seeking everyone’s attention, but the ability to stand up for one’s views is valued.
The main thing is the ability “not to stand out, to be unobtrusive in communication outside the family, and sometimes even at home.”
Striving to improve manners and communication skills, to represent one’s family and oneself confidently and with dignity.