Is My Mother-in-Law a Narcissist Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. Suppose she disagrees with one of your household, parenting, financial, or personal decisions. What tends to happen?
She may state her view, but she leaves the decision to the people responsible for it.
She continues giving unwanted advice after being asked to stop.
She tries to take over the decision or recruits others to overrule me.
She deliberately sabotages the decision or interferes in a way that could cause serious harm.
2. When she disagrees with you, how does she involve your partner or other relatives?
She addresses the issue directly without asking others to take sides.
She complains to someone else before trying to resolve it with me.
She regularly recruits relatives to pressure me or repeat her version of events.
She threatens, coerces, or demands that loved ones cut me off or choose between us.
3. How does she usually approach access to your home, time, belongings, or children, where applicable?
She makes arrangements and accepts the limits set by the people involved.
She repeatedly pushes for access at times that do not work for us.
She arrives unannounced, bypasses me, or treats agreed limits as optional.
She enters, takes access, or refuses to leave despite being clearly denied permission.
4. When she offers money, gifts, childcare, housing, or another form of help, what expectations tend to follow?
Any expectations are discussed clearly, and I can decline without punishment.
She later mentions the help to create a sense of obligation.
She repeatedly uses help as leverage over decisions or access to the family.
She threatens essential housing, money, care, or safety unless I submit to her demands.
5. What happens after you state a specific boundary and explain what needs to change?
Her behavior changes in line with the boundary.
She agrees but later tests the same limit again.
She says I have no right to the boundary and repeatedly violates it.
She responds with threats, intimidation, stalking, or another form of retaliation.
6. After she has clearly crossed a line, what does an apology from her usually look like?
She names what she did, takes responsibility, and changes the behavior.
She gives a vague apology but avoids discussing what needs to change.
She says I caused her behavior or that I am too sensitive to expect an apology.
She demands that I apologize instead and punishes or intimidates me if I do not.
7. At family gatherings, how does she respond when you receive attention, make a contribution, or express a different view?
She allows room for different people and viewpoints without making it a contest.
She makes pointed remarks that pull attention back toward her.
She repeatedly belittles me, excludes me, or turns others against me in the group.
She organizes sustained public humiliation, threats, or deliberate isolation.
8. How are standards of courtesy and respect applied between you?
She generally expects the same respectful conduct from herself that she expects from me.
She regularly expects more patience or flexibility for herself than she gives me.
She repeatedly excuses her insults or outbursts while condemning small mistakes from me.
She uses severe humiliation, intimidation, or punishment to enforce rules that do not apply to her.
9. During a difficult period in your life, how does she respond when you express a need or vulnerability?
She responds with consideration, even if she cannot provide the help requested.
She quickly redirects attention to her own experiences without fully hearing me.
She mocks, minimizes, or repeatedly dismisses what I am going through.
She exploits the vulnerability to control, threaten, or seriously undermine me.
10. How does she react when you and your partner make an independent choice that reduces her influence?
She may have feelings about it, but she respects that the choice belongs to us.
She makes recurring critical comments intended to make us reconsider.
She creates conflict, spreads damaging stories, or pressures my partner to reverse the choice.
She uses threats, coercion, stalking, or severe retaliation to prevent the choice.
11. What happens when information passes between her, you, and your partner?
She communicates accurately and encourages people to speak directly.
She selectively leaves out details in ways that create avoidable tension.
She repeatedly carries conflicting messages or denies statements that keep people divided.
She fabricates serious claims or impersonates someone to isolate or endanger me.
12. After you clearly decline a visit, favor, or invitation, what is most like her usual response?
She accepts the answer without continuing to pressure me.
She asks again after I have already given a clear answer.
She uses guilt, criticism, or repeated messages to try to change my answer.
She retaliates, harasses me, or threatens consequences for refusing.
13. When you calmly tell her that something she did hurt you, what response is most typical?
She listens, acknowledges the impact, and tries to repair it.
She initially focuses on her intentions and only partly acknowledges the impact.
She dismisses my feelings or turns the conversation into a complaint about me.
She uses my disclosure to humiliate, threaten, or deliberately hurt me further.
14. If there is clear evidence that she made a mistake, what tends to happen?
She recognizes the mistake and works toward a practical repair.
She acknowledges part of it but spends most of the conversation making excuses.
She denies responsibility and insists that someone else caused the problem.
She invents accusations, alters the story, or attacks my stability to escape accountability.
15. When you share personal information with her, how does she handle it?
She checks before sharing it and respects requests for privacy.
She has passed it to another relative despite being asked not to.
She repeatedly shares private details and dismisses my objections.
She uses private information to threaten, humiliate, or seriously harm me.