Is My Child Securely Attached Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. After your child becomes upset about a reasonable limit, how does the relationship usually shift?
They stay emotionally distant for a long period after the conflict
They reconnect once I provide substantial reassurance or shared activity
They express their upset, then gradually accept connection and move forward
They resume the routine but avoid much direct reconnection with me
2. Your child is absorbed in play and you move to another part of the room. What is the closest match?
They notice or check where I am, then comfortably continue playing
They stop playing and follow me for much of the remaining time
They resume after I invite them to continue or settle nearby
They show no clear awareness of my location during the activity
3. Across ordinary routines and different moods, how predictable is your availability to your child?
It varies substantially, so my child often needs to test whether I can respond
Core routines are fairly reliable, but my emotional availability changes with demands
My child can usually anticipate how to reach me, even when I need a short delay
I am dependable for practical needs, while emotional check-ins happen less consistently
4. You speak more sharply than you intended during a stressful interaction. What typically follows?
Once calm, I briefly acknowledge my tone and reconnect through ordinary time together
I restore a warm tone and routine without directly revisiting what happened
I give both of us space and wait for my child to initiate contact
I focus on the original issue and generally let the tense moment pass
5. After a minor hurt or upsetting surprise, what does your child most often do with a familiar caregiver?
They seek or accept comfort, settle, and eventually return to their activity
They approach for comfort but need extended closeness before recovering
They initially keep their distance but may accept indirect comfort later
They remain difficult to reach or reconnect with throughout the episode
6. Your child discovers something interesting while playing independently. What commonly happens next?
They continue alone and seldom include me in the discovery
They wait nearby until I can give the discovery sustained attention
They share or show it to me, then comfortably return to what they were doing
They get my attention and prefer that I join the activity for a while
7. When your child needs you during a genuinely busy moment, what most often happens?
I acknowledge them, give a realistic cue about when I can respond, and follow up
I offer quick reassurance, although the promised follow-up sometimes shifts
I meet the practical need later but usually do not revisit the emotional moment
I assume they have moved on unless they raise the need again
8. Your child signals discomfort, but you cannot immediately tell what they need. What do you usually do?
I wait for a clearer request while continuing what needs my attention
I offer the most familiar solution and adjust if it does not help
I pause to observe, try a response, and let their reaction guide my next step
I give them some space first, then check whether they want help
9. Your child rejects your first attempt to comfort them. How do you tend to respond?
I remain nearby or available, respect their space, and try another gentle opening later
I offer a different form of support, then step back if they still decline
I shift to a practical task or distraction and see whether connection returns naturally
I leave the next move entirely to them once the first offer is refused
10. A loud noise or unfamiliar event frightens your child. What tends to happen?
They look for me, use my presence or reassurance, and gradually recover
They manage the reaction alone and do not visibly use my availability
They remain overwhelmed even when I offer familiar forms of comfort
They come close but need time before reassurance begins to help
11. When something difficult happens away from you, how does your child usually bring it into the relationship?
They share it directly or through play, behavior, or questions and accept engagement
They hint that something happened but need considerable prompting to engage
They prefer to handle it privately and offer little opening for support
They become upset or withdrawn without being able to use my attempts to connect
12. After a routine, manageable separation, how does your child usually respond when reunited with you?
They offer a brief acknowledgment but show little interest in reconnecting
They reconnect warmly, then settle back into the next activity
They need prolonged reassurance before they can shift into the routine
They avoid, freeze, or remain angry in a way that makes reconnection difficult
13. When an age-appropriate task becomes frustrating, how does your child usually respond?
They avoid or abandon the task without bringing the difficulty to me
They keep struggling alone, even when they appear increasingly upset
They ask me to stay closely involved through most of the task
They seek brief help or encouragement and then try again
14. In a new, age-appropriate play setting, what does your child typically do when you remain nearby?
Stays close for most of the visit, even after having time to observe
Explores part of the space and returns or looks back periodically
Watches from beside me, then gradually tries one nearby activity
Moves into the space with little visible reference to where I am
15. At a playground or group activity, how does your child balance independence and connection?
They join in while occasionally checking back, sharing, or returning to me
They mostly remain beside me and participate only from there
They participate after watching with me and may return several times
They become involved but rarely signal or check whether I am available