Is It Cheating Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. Your partner had said that one-on-one outings with a particular person would cross a relationship boundary. What best matches your response?
We discussed the circumstances and mutually revised or confirmed the boundary before I went.
I went once for a practical reason and explained it openly soon afterward.
I went more than once while leaving our disagreement unresolved.
I kept arranging the outings despite knowing the boundary remained clear to my partner.
2. How did you talk about time spent with a person who interested you romantically or sexually?
I represented where I was, who was there, and the nature of the meeting accurately.
I mentioned the meeting but did not volunteer every detail because it seemed personal.
I described it in a way designed to make the connection seem less significant.
I invented a different account of where I was or whom I was with.
3. When expectations about exclusivity changed or became uncertain, what usually happened?
We clarified the change before either of us acted on it.
I followed our past pattern while waiting for a suitable time to discuss it.
I acted on my preferred interpretation even though the issue was unresolved.
I treated the uncertainty as permission to do something I knew might breach our agreement.
4. What was the most physically intimate contact you chose to have with someone outside the relationship?
Ordinary social contact without romantic or sexual intent.
Deliberately flirtatious closeness or touch, without kissing or sexual contact.
Kissing or intimate touching with mutual consent.
Consensual sexual activity.
5. How did your online conversations with potential romantic interests compare with your relationship’s understood rules?
They remained within limits we had explicitly agreed on.
The limits were vague, and I made choices based on my interpretation of them.
Some exchanges entered territory I suspected my partner would view differently.
I continued exchanges that I knew violated an established limit.
6. Imagine your partner directly asks whether an outside connection has become flirtatious. Which response is closest to what happened?
I described the interaction accurately, including details that felt awkward.
I gave an accurate summary while keeping unrelated personal details private.
I minimized the tone or left out information that would change their understanding.
I denied or misrepresented the connection despite knowing it was flirtatious.
7. How did you respond to feelings of attraction toward a particular person outside the relationship?
I noticed the attraction, but it remained passing and I did not cultivate it.
I enjoyed the crush privately without arranging more closeness around it.
I increasingly sought contact or situations that would deepen the connection.
I developed and actively maintained a mutual romantic or sexual bond.
8. Think about flirting with other people during the relationship. How did it relate to the boundaries you and your partner understood?
It stayed within boundaries we had clearly discussed.
We had not discussed it directly, but I relied on what seemed acceptable between us.
I continued despite signs that we understood the boundary differently.
I knowingly crossed a boundary my partner had clearly stated.
9. Suppose you are attracted to someone and cannot tell whether a particular interaction falls within your relationship boundaries. What response best resembles yours?
I pause that interaction until the boundary can be discussed.
I use similar past situations as a guide and bring it up later.
I continue unless my partner specifically objects afterward.
I proceed even when I strongly suspect it conflicts with what we agreed.
10. How much did thoughts about an outside person shape your view of the relationship’s future?
They did not meaningfully influence how I saw the future.
I occasionally imagined a different possibility without pursuing it.
I repeatedly compared my partner with that person or pictured being with them instead.
I made concrete plans around the outside connection that displaced plans with my partner.
11. During emotionally important moments, who tended to be the first person you wanted to contact?
Usually my partner, or another established source of support without romantic tension.
It varied across my partner, friends, family, and other supports.
I often preferred one outside person toward whom I felt attraction or romantic tension.
I almost always turned to that outside person while withdrawing emotionally from my partner.
12. If your partner and the outside person compared what you had told each of them, how consistent would the accounts be?
The important facts and the nature of each relationship would match.
The accounts would differ in emphasis but not in their essential meaning.
They would reveal meaningful omissions or different impressions I had encouraged.
They would expose incompatible stories I used to keep each person from understanding the situation.
13. When messages arrived from someone your partner might reasonably ask about, what did you typically do?
I handled them normally and answered relevant questions honestly.
I kept the messages private but did not disguise who sent them or what they meant.
I muted previews or changed habits partly to avoid questions about the exchange.
I hid the contact, used a misleading name, or created a false explanation for the messages.
14. While spending planned time with your partner, how much attention went to an outside person?
Contact was rare or limited to practical matters.
I occasionally exchanged friendly messages without losing focus on our time together.
I repeatedly checked for emotionally charged messages or looked for chances to respond.
I prioritized the outside person and regularly disengaged from my partner to connect with them.
15. What best describes your handling of message histories or digital traces connected to an outside person?
I managed or deleted them only as part of my usual privacy and storage habits.
I occasionally removed personal material without trying to create a false impression.
I deleted selected exchanges mainly so my partner would not see their tone or frequency.
I systematically erased or moved evidence while giving my partner a misleading account.