Is He Manipulating Me Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. Does he make affection, resources, or relationship stability conditional on sexual access?
Affection and practical support are not used as payment for sexual activity.
He jokes, complains, or briefly pouts about rejection but does not sustain the pressure.
He withdraws affection, accuses you of failing him, or repeatedly threatens a breakup to obtain sexual contact.
He threatens your housing, money, reputation, immigration status, children, or physical safety to obtain sexual contact.
2. When you and he remember an important conversation differently, what usually happens?
He initially insists that his memory is right, but later considers specific details or evidence.
He accepts that memories can differ and works with you to clarify what was said.
He repeatedly denies clear statements and tells you that your confusion proves you cannot trust yourself.
He knowingly alters messages, invents evidence, or recruits others into a false account to make you doubt your reality.
3. What effect do disagreements with him have on your confidence in your own perceptions?
You can disagree while still feeling able to check facts and trust your judgment.
His forceful certainty sometimes makes you second-guess yourself, though you can usually verify what occurred.
You keep notes or screenshots because his statements are often denied, and you increasingly doubt your memory.
He impersonates people, edits records, or stages events to deliberately convince you that your perceptions are unreliable.
4. What happens when he is intensely angry in your presence?
He manages his anger without using his body, objects, or surroundings to frighten you.
He raises his voice or slams a door, then recognizes the impact and stops.
He crowds your space, punches walls, or breaks belongings in a way that makes you anticipate physical harm.
He threatens injury, uses a weapon, throws objects at you, or physically hurts you or someone else.
5. How much control does he exercise over money, transport, medication, food, housing, or other necessities?
Practical limits are discussed openly, and you retain a meaningful say and access where possible.
He frequently criticizes your use of resources or insists on updates, but does not block access.
He restricts access or creates dependency to discourage choices, work, healthcare, or contact he dislikes.
He deliberately withholds essentials, destroys medication or mobility aids, strands you, or uses necessities to trap or endanger you.
6. How does he approach your phone, passwords, or location?
Any sharing is voluntary, mutual, and can be stopped without punishment.
He requests frequent updates and becomes irritated when you answer later than expected.
He demands passwords or constant tracking and treats ordinary privacy as evidence of betrayal.
He secretly installs surveillance, impersonates you, or threatens punishment if you disable monitoring.
7. After you explain that something he did hurt you, how does he tend to respond?
He starts by explaining his intention, then returns to hear the effect it had on you.
He listens, discusses the specific behavior, and takes responsibility for his part.
He redirects the conversation to unrelated mistakes you made until you end up apologizing to him.
He knowingly spreads a false story that you are unstable or dishonest so people you rely on will dismiss your account.
8. How are decisions about contraception or safer-sex practices handled?
You make decisions together, and he respects the conditions under which you consent.
He pushes his preference more than once but ultimately follows the boundary you set.
He uses guilt or repeated last-minute pressure to make you abandon a previously agreed condition.
He sabotages contraception, removes protection without consent, or deceives you about using it.
9. During conflict, what best describes the way he withdraws or pauses contact?
He asks for a defined break and follows through on returning to the conversation.
He goes quiet for several hours without explaining when he will reconnect, but later resumes contact.
He ignores you for long periods specifically to make you give in, apologize, or abandon a boundary.
He repeatedly stages a disappearance or breakup and says he will return only if you surrender the boundary in dispute.
10. If you try to leave a heated argument to cool down, what does he do?
He lets you leave and agrees on a reasonable way to reconnect later.
He follows briefly or continues arguing, but backs off when you firmly ask for space.
He follows you from room to room or repeatedly pressures you to stay, without physically blocking you.
He blocks the exit, restrains you, takes your keys, or otherwise physically prevents you from leaving.
11. If he wants a sexual photo, message, or recording that you do not want to provide, what happens?
He asks again after you have declined and acts disappointed, but then drops the request.
He respects the refusal and does not treat it as proof of love or trust.
He says you owe it to him, questions your commitment, or persists until refusal feels costly.
He creates, shares, or threatens to share intimate material without your consent.
12. You plan to spend time with friends or family without him. What response is most typical?
He supports the plan or discusses logistics without making you pay an emotional price.
He complains or sulks but does not interfere with the visit.
He repeatedly manufactures crises, insults people close to you, or pressures you to cancel.
He threatens consequences, confines you, or physically prevents contact with people who could support you.
13. What happens when you are asleep, highly intoxicated, or otherwise unable to communicate clear consent?
He waits until you are able to participate and give clear, voluntary consent.
He begins affectionate touching without checking, but notices uncertainty and stops immediately.
He treats consent from an earlier occasion as ongoing and needs repeated correction before he stops escalating.
He initiates or continues sexual contact while you are asleep, incapacitated, refusing, or unable to consent.
14. How does he frame responsibility when he becomes angry or behaves harshly?
He says the argument contributed to his stress but later acknowledges that his behavior was his choice.
He treats his feelings and actions as his responsibility, even when both of you are upset.
He regularly says you made him shout, insult you, or punish you and that avoiding it is your job.
He says he will harm himself, retaliate, or ruin your life unless you accept responsibility and comply.
15. When you decline sexual activity, what most closely matches his response?
He accepts your answer without making affection or relationship security depend on changing it.
He repeatedly sulks, withdraws warmth, or keeps asking until you feel worn down.
He shows disappointment or asks again later, but stops when you restate the boundary.
He continues through force, restraint, threats, or sexual contact without your freely given consent.