Fear of Intimacy Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. A trusted person notices you seem upset and asks how you are really doing. What are you most likely to do?
Share what happened and describe how it affected me
Give a brief honest summary but keep the most vulnerable part private
Say I am fine and redirect the conversation toward them
End the conversation or become noticeably closed off
2. You are overwhelmed, and someone close to you offers practical help without attaching conditions. What do you do?
Accept the help and agree on what would be useful
Accept a limited part so I still handle most of it myself
Decline automatically, then reconsider only if things become unmanageable
Refuse because owing or depending on them feels too uncomfortable
3. When you notice that someone has become emotionally important to you, what tends to happen?
I can acknowledge the attachment without needing to change the relationship suddenly
I feel cautious and slow the pace while staying communicative
I focus on their flaws or imagine reasons the relationship will fail
I detach, provoke distance, or leave before they can affect me more deeply
4. A dependable person offers to check in with you during a difficult week. Which response is closest to yours?
Agree on a form of contact that would feel supportive
Accept, although I may feel slightly awkward receiving the attention
Say it is unnecessary even though part of me would value it
Pull back because regular care feels intrusive or creates an unwanted bond
5. Before asking someone close for emotional support, what usually goes through your mind?
I should handle this alone so they cannot disappoint or control me
I weigh the request heavily because being needy or indebted worries me
I consider whether they have capacity, then ask in a limited way
I can ask directly while respecting that they may not always be available
6. Following a disagreement, the other person suggests a calm conversation to reconnect. What is your usual response?
Avoid the conversation for as long as possible because repair would restore too much closeness
Delay repeatedly or communicate only through brief, detached messages
Ask for a defined pause, then return when I am more settled
Engage in repair while naming any need for time or boundaries
7. Which approach best describes how you handle needs that could make you feel emotionally exposed?
I usually hide the need, even from people close to me
I hint at it and hope the other person understands without my saying it directly
I discuss it once I feel prepared and have chosen my words carefully
I can usually state it directly while accepting that the answer may vary
8. After an especially close and enjoyable weekend with someone important, what are you most likely to do?
Continue normal contact while also returning to my own routine
Take a little quiet time and explain that I am recharging
Become less responsive until the intensity fades
Create sharp distance or question the relationship because the closeness feels alarming
9. You reveal something personal, and the other person responds warmly. What tends to happen next?
I stay engaged and let the supportive response register
I appreciate it but need a little time before saying more
I feel exposed and quickly move to a safer subject
I regret sharing and resolve not to be that open again
10. How do you generally view mutual dependence in a close relationship?
As something I strongly avoid because reliance gives another person too much power
As risky, so I prefer each person to manage nearly everything alone
As acceptable in selected areas if expectations and boundaries are clear
As compatible with autonomy when support moves both ways
11. When someone accurately recognizes a feeling you have not expressed, how do you usually react?
I feel relieved or understood and can explore it with them
I have mixed feelings but can acknowledge that they noticed
I become uneasy and minimize what I am feeling
I feel threatened by being seen and create immediate distance
12. A relationship is becoming more consistent, and the other person asks how you see it developing. How do you respond?
I can discuss hopes, limits, and uncertainty directly
I ask for time to think, then return to the conversation
I keep the answer vague so no expectation becomes too real
I lose interest, find reasons to leave, or abruptly reduce contact
13. How often do you avoid naming a vulnerable feeling because another person might see you differently?
Very often; keeping it hidden usually feels necessary
Sometimes, especially when the relationship matters a great deal
Occasionally; I usually share once I have processed it
Rarely; I can usually name it while keeping suitable boundaries
14. Someone close asks for more regular time together. Their request is reasonable, but you also value space. How do you handle it?
Withdraw without explanation so the relationship becomes less intense
Resist the request because any routine feels like a loss of freedom
Offer a limited arrangement and see how it feels before expanding it
Discuss both needs and negotiate a rhythm that includes connection and space
15. You become ill and a close person brings food and offers to handle an errand. How are you most likely to respond?
Let them help and express what I do or do not need
Accept the food but decline the errand to preserve some independence
Feel uncomfortable and insist they leave sooner than necessary
Reject the care and conceal future needs to prevent a repeat