Chen Attachment Style Test - the question form
Questions: 10 · 15 minutes
1. In interactions with other people, you generally:
Easily make contact and form close relationships
Hold back your feelings, and become close slowly and not fully
Often feel anxious and worry about the impression you make
Have mixed feelings—for example, after you pursue a relationship, you then end it yourself
2. In love and romantic relationships, you tend to feel:
Comfortable and at ease
More accustomed to and prefer keeping some distance
It is hard to be without the person you love; you want to be together all the time
You feel drawn to the person you love at times, and pushed away at other times
3. Your attitude toward trusting another person:
There are people you trust, and it feels good.
There is no point in trusting; people betray trust.
"Trust, but verify"—you need to monitor the person you have trusted.
You do not trust anyone, but you would like to have someone you can trust.
4. Your childhood experiences with your parent(s) were:
Warm, calm, and safe
It was easier not to trust and to keep my distance
I really wanted to please them, but it did not always work
Sometimes it was wonderful, sometimes it was terrible
5. Can you ask a loved one for help or support?
Of course; I do that.
I prefer to cope on my own; I do not like asking.
I ask, or in some way show that I need help, if I understand that my loved one can provide it.
If I lose my temper, I might.
6. If you were to exaggerate your biggest shortcoming as a parent, what would it be?
Too kind
Cold, emotionally closed off
Anxious
Unpredictable
7. If you were to describe your greatest difficulty in love at its most intense, it would be:
Idealization: even if there is a chance that my partner does not deserve it, I trust and support them
Independence: I never get completely close and keep some distance
Enmeshment: I want to merge with my partner, know everything about them, and control them
Ambivalence toward my partner: I can both love and hate them at the same time
8. New group, new people. How do you usually behave?
I start talking easily and feel at ease
I observe and keep quiet
I try to notice and understand what behavior is accepted here
Sometimes, unexpectedly, I open up; other times I shut down
9. Which word best describes your attachment to people close to you?
Secure
Insufficient
Excessive
Conflicted
10. Select the qualities that best describe your mother’s behavior toward you:
Responsive, kind, warm, understanding
Distant, indifferent, rejecting, cold
Unpredictable, inconsistent, uncertain, unreliable
Grieving, emotionally withdrawn, aggressive, unable to protect