Are My Parents Abusive Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. What is closest to your experience of affection or physical touch?
Affection is nonsexual, and they stop or adjust when I do not want contact.
They occasionally continue a hug, kiss, or other touch longer than I want after I pull away.
They repeatedly ignore my stated limits or touch close to private areas in ways that disturb me.
They have forced, coerced, or threatened any sexual touching or made me touch them or someone else.
2. Has a parent, caregiver, other adult, or peer linked gifts, special attention, secrecy, or private time to sexual boundary crossing?
No; attention and gifts are not tied to sexual behavior, secrecy, or access to my body.
There has been boundary-blurring favoritism or unusually personal attention that made me uneasy.
They repeatedly push for private access, sexual conversation, or secrecy while dismissing my discomfort.
They have exchanged or offered rewards for sexual behavior, demanded sexual secrecy, or threatened consequences for telling.
3. Which statement best describes your physical safety when a caregiver is driving or responsible for where you are left?
They sometimes argue or drive while highly distracted, which makes me uneasy.
They routinely drive in a dangerously aggressive way or leave me in places that feel seriously unsafe.
They intentionally used a vehicle or dangerous location to frighten or threaten me, or their conduct caused an injury.
They generally take reasonable steps to transport me and leave me in appropriate places.
4. What happens if you try to leave a heated argument to calm down?
They sometimes stand in the way briefly but move when I clearly ask to leave.
They let me step away, perhaps agreeing on a time to continue the discussion.
They repeatedly block doors or take my phone or keys so that leaving becomes difficult.
They lock me in, physically restrain me, injure me, or threaten harm if I try to leave.
5. How are your messages, belongings, or personal space handled?
They repeatedly search or monitor me without explanation and use what they find to shame or control me.
They generally respect my space and discuss any genuine safety concern openly.
They have threatened me or exposed private information to force my obedience.
They sometimes check beyond what feels necessary, but will usually hear my concerns about it.
6. What tends to happen when you share fear, sadness, embarrassment, or another vulnerable feeling?
They may not always know what to say, but they listen without using it against me.
They sometimes minimize the feeling or change the subject.
They often mock my feelings, call me weak, or make my distress about their needs.
They use what I disclose to threaten, blackmail, expose, or deliberately frighten me.
7. How are sexual images, videos, messages, or online interactions handled around you?
They keep sexual material away from me and respect appropriate digital boundaries.
Sexual material has been left visible or discussed around me in a way that felt uncomfortable.
I have repeatedly been exposed to sexual material or invasive sexual questioning despite discomfort.
Someone has pressured, tricked, threatened, or forced me to view, create, send, or participate in sexual material.
8. During an angry confrontation, how does your caregiver use their body, voice, or nearby objects?
They may raise their voice, but they keep physical distance and do not intimidate me.
They have made an explicit threat of physical harm, displayed a weapon, or moved as if about to attack.
They sometimes crowd my space, punch walls, or slam objects in a way that alarms me.
Aggressive posturing, throwing objects nearby, or blocking my movement happens repeatedly.
9. Which option is closest to your experience of being physically handled during conflict or discipline?
I have been grabbed or shoved on more than one occasion, without a reported injury.
Physical contact stays nonviolent and respects my request for space.
There has been an isolated rough grab or push that frightened or unsettled me.
I have been hit with an object, strangled, burned, injured, or subjected to other dangerous force.
10. How are your privacy needs handled when you are changing clothes, bathing, or using the bathroom?
They knock, provide reasonable privacy, and respond appropriately to accidental interruptions.
They sometimes enter after I have asked for privacy, even when there is no clear emergency.
They routinely watch, intrude, or comment on my body despite my discomfort.
They have forced exposure, forced observation, or sexual contact in one of these situations.
11. How does violence toward other people, pets, or property show up around you?
Conflict may occur, but I am not exposed to violent acts, deliberate intimidation, or destruction.
There have been isolated episodes of aggressive object slamming or property damage that alarmed me.
Breaking or throwing things during conflict is a repeated pattern that makes me fear escalation.
They have injured a person or animal, used a weapon, or threatened such harm to frighten or control me.
12. Which statement best describes access to food, suitable clothing, hygiene, necessary supervision, or medical care?
There have been occasional gaps, but my caregiver tries to address them or seek available help.
Necessities or urgent medical help have been deliberately withheld to punish, control, or endanger me.
My caregiver consistently tries to meet these needs and seeks help when resources are limited.
Important needs are often left unmet even when realistic help or resources appear available.
13. When you disagree with a parent or caregiver, what is closest to what usually happens?
They may be frustrated, but they let me speak and do not punish me for having a different view.
They sometimes become cold or dismissive, then later return to the conversation.
They repeatedly use insults, guilt, or prolonged withdrawal to make me give in.
They threaten abandonment, serious harm, or severe consequences unless I comply.
14. A friend, relative, teacher, or other supportive person wants to stay in contact with you. How does your caregiver respond?
They ask reasonable questions about safety while generally allowing supportive contact.
They express dislike or suspicion and sometimes make contact difficult.
They repeatedly pressure me to withdraw or punish me emotionally after contact.
They threaten harm or serious punishment to stop me from seeking support or telling others what happens.
15. Which option best describes comments about your body, sexuality, or relationships?
They have made a sexual request, proposition, or threat involving me.
Comments are age-appropriate, respectful, and not sexualized.
There has been an intrusive or sexualized joke that made me uncomfortable.
Sexualized remarks, questions, or humiliation continue despite signs that I am uncomfortable.