Am I Passive Aggressive Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. How often do you communicate annoyance through teasing, hints, or an altered tone instead of naming the issue?
Fairly often, especially when direct disagreement feels awkward.
Rarely; I usually state the concern or choose a clear time to discuss it.
Occasionally, but I generally clarify what I mean afterward.
Very often; indirect signals feel easier than openly acknowledging my annoyance.
2. Someone apologizes, but their apology does not address what still bothers you. How do you respond?
Accept it for the moment and arrange to revisit the unresolved part.
Act as though everything is normal while quietly withholding warmth or cooperation.
Explain what still feels unresolved.
Say it is okay but mentally add the incident to a running list of grievances.
3. During a meeting, someone repeatedly interrupts you. How are you most likely to respond?
Make a pointed joke about apparently not needing to finish.
Say that you would like to finish your thought before moving on.
Insist it did not bother you, but use clipped replies for the rest of the meeting.
Wait until afterward and explain privately that the interruptions were frustrating.
4. When you resent an obligation you have already accepted, what tends to happen?
I meet the core commitment but reduce nonessential effort.
I tell the person early that I need to change the deadline or commitment.
Delay becomes a way of showing that I was never fully on board.
I start later than intended and often need a reminder to finish.
5. A partner or close friend notices your tense tone and asks whether you are upset. What do you usually do?
Say you need time to sort out your thoughts and suggest when to revisit it.
Say everything is fine while making pointed comments that hint at the problem.
Describe the specific issue as clearly as I can.
Say nothing is wrong, although I expect my tone to show otherwise.
6. You receive an invitation you do not want to accept, but saying no feels uncomfortable. What are you most likely to do?
Say I will probably attend, then cancel closer to the event.
Agree, become hard to reach, and allow the plan to lapse without a clear answer.
Take a little time to check my schedule, then give a definite response.
Decline politely rather than leave the other person uncertain.
7. How often do you say yes mainly to avoid tension and later resent the person or commitment?
Often; immediate agreement feels easier even when resentment is likely.
Sometimes, especially when the relationship feels delicate.
Rarely; I usually ask for time or give an honest answer.
Occasionally, but I tend to correct my answer before plans are settled.
8. A household responsibility feels unfairly assigned to you. Which response fits best?
Complete the immediate task, then discuss how responsibilities could be divided next time.
Do the most visible parts while leaving less noticeable pieces unfinished.
Ask to renegotiate the responsibility before it becomes a recurring source of resentment.
Move slowly or let it slip my mind, hoping someone else eventually takes over.
9. When you disagree with someone important to you, what is usually the hardest part?
Finding the right time and wording, although I generally return to the issue.
Admitting that I disagree at all, so I often agree and remain resentful.
Managing the immediate tension, which sometimes leads me to concede too quickly.
Staying respectful while stating my view clearly.
10. Someone asks you to take on an extra task that you do not think is reasonable. What do you do?
Agree, but delay starting until the person follows up.
Decline or negotiate the scope before committing.
Accept it, then place it behind work I personally consider more important.
Clarify my limits and agree only to the part I can realistically handle.
11. A team chooses a plan you opposed, and you must now carry out part of it. How do you respond?
Wait to share potentially useful details until someone specifically asks me.
Explain any remaining concern, then complete my agreed role.
Let momentum slow through delayed responses rather than reopening the disagreement.
Complete the clearly assigned pieces while protecting time for my other priorities.
12. A friend cancels on you for the second time. What would you be most likely to do?
Say it is no problem, then become noticeably cold toward them.
Take some space and bring up the repeated cancellations later.
Post or share a general comment about unreliable people, hoping they notice.
Tell them I am disappointed and ask whether we should plan differently.
13. You receive feedback that feels unfair. Which response is most like yours?
Use dry humor later to signal that I doubt the feedback without directly challenging it.
Ask for examples and explain where my perspective differs.
Thank the person warmly, then mock the feedback when talking with someone else.
Take time to process it and arrange a follow-up conversation.
14. A disagreement begins with someone close to you. Which response sounds most familiar?
Agree outwardly, then replay the disagreement privately for a long time.
Discuss my view while trying to understand theirs.
Agree to end the tension, then withdraw warmth for the next few days.
Take a cooling-off period and make a clear plan to resume the conversation.
15. A group asks for your preference, but you suspect the others want something different. What do you do?
Say I have no preference, then criticize the eventual choice afterward.
Offer my preference while noting where I can be flexible.
Say that anything is fine, but feel resentful when they choose without me.
State what I would prefer and accept that the group may decide differently.