Am I Obsessive Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. Jealousy arises about this person’s friends, clothing, or plans. How does it shape your behavior?
I describe my feelings without trying to make their choices for them.
I repeatedly ask them to change a harmless plan to ease my jealousy.
I pressure them to reduce contact, change clothing, or report their activities to me.
I intimidate, physically block, restrain, or punish them for making their own choice.
2. When you are uncertain about how this person feels, which response is closest to yours?
I can tolerate the uncertainty without repeatedly reviewing it.
I replay a conversation longer than I want to.
I repeatedly search for signs or ask others for reassurance.
I feel unable to settle until I have certainty, even after receiving reassurance.
3. Think about work, school, caregiving, or household duties. How has this romantic focus affected them?
I continue meeting my important responsibilities.
I delay minor tasks because I am thinking, checking, or waiting.
I miss deadlines, classes, shifts, or essential duties because of it.
My job, education, housing, or another essential responsibility has been seriously jeopardized.
4. While you are working, studying, or handling another important task, how do romantic thoughts affect your attention?
They may appear, but they do not interrupt what I am doing.
I briefly lose track once or twice before returning to the task.
I repeatedly stop to replay interactions or imagine future contact.
The thoughts take over so completely that I cannot finish an important task.
5. The person asks for space or says they do not want contact. What best describes your response?
I stop contacting them and follow the boundary they stated.
I send another message after the request, hoping they will reconsider.
I keep messaging through the same channel despite receiving no reply.
I use other accounts, numbers, or in-person visits after being blocked or told not to make contact.
6. How do you respond when this person clearly rejects a date, relationship, or reconciliation?
I accept the answer, even if I feel hurt or disappointed.
I continue bargaining after their answer is already clear.
I use guilt, public pressure, or repeated emotional appeals to change the answer.
I threaten harm, revenge, exposure, or punishment because they said no.
7. A song, photo, or familiar place reminds you of this person. What follows?
The memory passes without pulling me away from my plans.
I linger on it somewhat longer than I intended.
I lose substantial time replaying memories or imagined scenes.
It triggers a prolonged thought spiral that I cannot interrupt and that derails my plans.
8. After sending this person a message, what usually happens?
I check for a reply when convenient and can leave my phone alone.
I feel pulled to check sooner or more often than I intended.
I repeatedly refresh messages, profiles, or activity indicators.
Checking keeps me awake or causes me to neglect important responsibilities.
9. When romantic distress reaches its peak, which description best matches how you cope?
I remain able to choose ordinary supports or calming activities without harming myself or anyone else.
I withdraw or scroll for much longer than intended and feel worse afterward.
I rely on alcohol, other substances, reckless spending, or similarly harmful coping.
I have harmed or threatened myself or someone else, or I fear I may do so.
10. When you want to know where this person is, what are you most likely to do?
I rely on information they choose to share with me.
I examine public updates for clues about their location.
I repeatedly question other people or check location information without an agreement.
I follow them or access their device, account, or location data without permission.
11. Friends or family invite you to spend time with them, but you are focused on this person. What tends to happen?
I stay connected with others and make a balanced choice about the invitation.
I sometimes decline so I can think about or monitor the romantic situation.
I repeatedly withdraw from people or hide how much time the focus consumes.
I have become severely isolated or had major conflicts because others expressed concern about my behavior.
12. How strongly does this person’s attention, silence, or rejection determine your emotional state?
It affects me briefly, but my whole day does not depend on it.
My mood can remain tied to their response for several hours.
Whether I can function that day often depends on receiving the response I want.
Silence or rejection triggers panic, despair, or rage that feels extremely difficult to control.
13. During periods of romantic uncertainty, what happens to your sleep or eating routine?
My usual sleep and eating patterns remain essentially unchanged.
I occasionally stay up late or skip part of a meal because I am preoccupied.
I lose sleep or eat poorly across several days because of the situation.
I go for a prolonged period with dangerously little sleep, food, or physical care.
14. You are curious about this person’s private messages or accounts. What do you do?
I ask if relevant and accept that they may decline to share.
I peek at notifications or information clearly intended only for them.
I guess passwords or read private messages without permission.
I force access, use threats to obtain it, or share intimate information without consent.
15. How do you relate your romantic hopes to the evidence you actually have?
I can enjoy hopes or fantasies while keeping them separate from facts.
I sometimes give an ambiguous sign more meaning than it probably has.
I build a detailed relationship story from limited signs and revisit it repeatedly.
I feel certain a special relationship or destiny exists despite clear information to the contrary.