Am I an Asshole Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. A text disagreement becomes increasingly tense late at night. What is your usual move?
Keep replying until every point has been answered, even if the tone gets sharper.
Send one final summary of my position, then stop responding for the night.
Suggest a pause and return to the issue at a specific calmer time.
Step away temporarily, though I may not clearly say when I will return to it.
2. Which response best matches how you usually apologize after realizing you were in the wrong?
I explain the full context so the other person can see that the mistake was understandable.
I say what I did, recognize its effect, and describe what I will change.
I offer a brief apology but prefer not to keep revisiting something that has already happened.
I wait until both people can admit their part before I apologize.
3. A friend says a comment you made embarrassed them, although you intended it as harmless teasing. What is your first response?
Explain the friendly intention first so they do not misunderstand what kind of person I am.
Acknowledge the impact, apologize, and ask what would help avoid a repeat.
Say I am sorry they felt embarrassed, while noting that most people would have taken it lightly.
Apologize for the comment and take some time before discussing my intention.
4. During a lively group discussion, one person repeatedly starts speaking but gets talked over. What do you do?
Focus on making my own points; they can re-enter when they find an opening.
Notice it but wait to see whether someone closer to them steps in.
Finish my current point, then ask what they were trying to say.
Pause and deliberately give them the floor before the conversation moves on.
5. You want to play music in a shared space while another person is concentrating. What would you usually do?
Play it at a moderate volume unless they specifically ask me to stop.
Use headphones or check what volume would work before playing it aloud.
Play it quietly because both of us should be able to use the space as we prefer.
Play it at the volume I enjoy and expect them to find a quieter place if needed.
6. Two people independently tell you that you have the same frustrating habit. What do you do with that feedback?
Consider that there may be a pattern and choose a specific behavior to watch or change.
Reflect on it, but reserve judgment because they may share the same bias.
Treat each complaint separately because similar wording does not necessarily prove a pattern.
Assume they have discussed me and are reinforcing one another’s interpretation.
7. You miss a deadline, forcing someone else to rearrange their work. How do you handle it?
Own the delay, explain only what is necessary, and propose a concrete way to reduce the extra burden.
Apologize and finish as quickly as possible, trusting that the completed work will settle the issue.
Point out the circumstances that made the original deadline unrealistic.
Acknowledge the inconvenience but also mention the factors outside my control.
8. Someone asks you not to tease them about a topic that seems harmless to you. How do you respond afterward?
Stop using that topic, even if I do not personally understand the sensitivity.
Avoid it around them but still joke about it when they are not present.
Test a milder version later to see whether the original request was situational.
Continue occasionally because close relationships should allow some teasing.
9. Someone often helps you with small tasks, but you rarely think to offer help first. Once you notice the imbalance, what feels most natural?
Thank them and ask what kind of support would actually be useful in return.
Assume they would ask directly if they wanted something from me.
Look for an easy opportunity to return a favor when one appears.
Offer help occasionally, while accepting that some people naturally give more than others.
10. Your group is choosing a restaurant, and one person has a dietary restriction that narrows the options. How do you approach the decision?
Choose somewhere with at least one workable dish for them, even if the selection is limited.
Ask what they can comfortably eat and build the shortlist around options everyone can use.
Favor the place most people want and assume they can adapt for one meal.
Find several inclusive choices, then let the whole group decide among them.
11. A friend declines an invitation that matters to you but gives no detailed reason. What do you do?
Ask once whether another date would work, then accept their answer.
Explain why the event matters and make one more attempt to persuade them.
Keep offering solutions because their objections may be fixable.
Treat the refusal as a sign that I am not important to them and say so.
12. During an argument, you realize you have a criticism that would embarrass the other person if said in front of everyone. What do you do?
Raise the underlying issue privately after the immediate disagreement settles.
Hint at the criticism so they understand I have more I could say.
Say it openly if it supports my side and the discussion is already public.
Hold it back in public, but bring it up privately while I am still upset.
13. A recurring disagreement remains unresolved despite several conversations. Which approach feels most like yours?
Repeat my strongest arguments because the other person may not fully understand them yet.
Look for a workable boundary or compromise, even if neither of us feels completely vindicated.
Reduce contact around the disputed issue rather than keep debating it.
Increase the pressure by involving other people or making the relationship itself part of the dispute.
14. A friend is telling the group a story, and you suddenly remember a similar experience. What are you most likely to do?
Jump in with my story while the connection is fresh, especially if it seems more relevant.
Wait for a natural pause, then ask whether they want to hear my related story.
Briefly mention that I relate, then return the attention to their story.
Start sharing, but shorten my story if I notice that I have taken over.
15. You and another person remember a tense exchange differently, and neither account can be verified. How do you respond?
Stand by my memory and avoid apologizing for details I do not believe happened.
Accept that both memories may be incomplete and address the impact I can acknowledge.
Agree to move on without deciding whose version is accurate.
Push for them to admit that their version is exaggerated before discussing repair.