Top or Bottom Quiz

1. If a partner sets a boundary, I can respond calmly and respectfully without taking it personally.

2. I usually hope my partner will “just know” what I’m okay with instead of saying it.

3. I feel comfortable experimenting with different role dynamics as long as consent is clear.

4. When a partner asks me to take more control or to yield control, I can usually meet them there.

5. I find it easy to match a partner’s energy by shifting between leading and following.

6. I can enjoy being in charge sometimes and letting go of control other times.

7. If something changes mid-encounter, I can renegotiate what we’re doing.

8. If I’m unsure about something, I can ask to slow down or pause without feeling embarrassed.

9. I’m comfortable exploring role changes gradually, one step at a time.

10. It feels best to me when I can relax and follow my partner’s lead.

11. I can talk about aftercare or emotional needs (e.g., cuddling, space, reassurance) if relevant.

12. I prefer my partner to take initiative, and I respond to what they start.

13. I prefer when my partner is more assertive about what we try.

14. I can talk openly about switching roles without feeling embarrassed.

15. I feel more turned on when I’m doing more of the “receiving” side of the dynamic.

16. If my partner and I both want the same role at first, I’m willing to take turns or alternate.

17. I feel more turned on when I’m doing more of the “giving” side of the dynamic.

18. If a partner prefers a different role than I expected, I can adapt without much stress.

19. I can be satisfied even when my role changes from one encounter to the next.

20. I can name my hard limits clearly (things that are not okay for me).

21. Trying a different role feels more exciting than threatening to me.

22. I feel confident asking for what I want, even if I’m not sure my partner will be into it.

23. I’m drawn to dynamics where I’m more in control of the action.

24. Before getting physical, I feel comfortable discussing what I want and don’t want.

25. If roles aren’t discussed, I naturally fall into a leading role.

26. I tend to avoid discussing boundaries because it feels awkward.

27. I can ask directly whether a partner wants to switch roles or keep things the same.

28. If roles aren’t discussed, I naturally fall into a following/receiving role.

29. Switching roles feels like a natural part of connection for me.

30. I like initiating physical intimacy rather than waiting for my partner to start.

31. I feel comfortable negotiating specifics (e.g., pace, intensity, positioning, what’s on/off the table).

32. I like my partner to set the rhythm (faster/slower, more/less intense).

33. I have trouble stating my boundaries because I don’t want to disappoint someone.

34. I enjoy being the one who gives instructions or suggestions during sex.

35. In intimate situations, I prefer to take the lead.

36. I’m drawn to dynamics where my partner is more in control of the action.

37. I can switch roles without feeling like it changes who I am.

38. I can switch roles based on context (time, place, mood) rather than needing a fixed routine.

39. I feel okay bringing up boundaries even with someone I’m very attracted to.

40. I can clearly say “no” or “stop” without feeling guilty.

41. I feel comfortable taking either the lead or the follow role depending on the situation.

42. I prefer my partner to guide what we do next.

43. During intimacy, I can speak up if something doesn’t feel good or feels off.

44. I prefer being the one who is more assertive about what we try.

45. I feel most comfortable when my partner sets the pace and direction.

46. I’m open to switching roles within the same connection as comfort and trust grow.

47. I’m comfortable being the one who sets the pace sometimes and letting someone else set it other times.

48. I like being the one who sets the rhythm (faster/slower, more/less intense).

49. My enjoyment doesn’t depend on being in one specific role every time.

50. I tend to take initiative even if my partner hasn’t asked me to.

51. If a partner seems uncertain, I’m comfortable checking in rather than guessing.

52. If I notice a partner is more comfortable in a certain role, I can adjust my role to complement them.

53. I can enjoy both giving and receiving, depending on my mood and my partner’s needs.

54. I worry that bringing up consent or boundaries will “ruin the mood.”

55. I feel at ease renegotiating roles as a relationship changes over time.

56. I can comfortably talk about safer-sex practices (e.g., condoms, STI testing, birth control).

57. I’m comfortable checking in during intimacy (e.g., asking “Is this okay?” or “Want more/less?”).

58. I’m willing to plan or negotiate role-switching (e.g., taking turns) to meet both people’s preferences.

59. If I accidentally cross a boundary, I can apologize and adjust without getting defensive.

60. I feel comfortable using clear language about body parts or sexual activities when needed.

61. I can talk about what kind of initiation I like (e.g., direct, subtle, verbal, nonverbal).

62. I find it easy to ask a partner what they’re comfortable with.

63. I feel comfortable giving feedback in the moment (e.g., “yes, like that” or “a bit gentler”).

64. Even if I have a usual preference, I can still enjoy the opposite role at times.

65. I can switch between initiating and responding without feeling awkward.

66. I’m happiest when I can focus on receiving and responding rather than directing.

67. I like having the option to switch roles rather than being locked into one.

68. When deciding what we do in bed, I prefer to be the one making the calls.