Soulmate Test

1. We are aligned on how we would handle a situation where one of us needs to prioritize their career for a period of time.

2. We can disagree and still feel emotionally safe with each other afterward.

3. We tend to resolve arguments without prolonged silent treatment or stonewalling.

4. Our political/social values are compatible enough to build a life together comfortably.

5. We repair after conflict (apologies, reassurance, affection, or problem-solving) rather than staying distant.

6. We can bring up concerns without the other person getting defensive right away.

7. Our definitions of commitment (exclusive, long-term, marriage/partnership expectations) are aligned.

8. We agree on what kind of home life we want (quiet vs lively, guests, routines, shared responsibilities).

9. We can talk about sensitive feelings (jealousy, insecurity, disappointment) without blame.

10. After conflict, we can return to warmth and connection within a reasonable time.

11. Our expectations about retirement and later-life plans (pace of life, location, finances, caregiving) are compatible.

12. During disagreements, we stay respectful (no insults, contempt, or threats).

13. We share a similar sense of what a healthy relationship looks like.

14. We can express our needs clearly rather than expecting the other to guess.

15. We feel like a team when making decisions that affect us both.

16. We agree on what “success” looks like (status, impact, peace, freedom, stability, etc.).

17. We show care and affection in ways that feel meaningful to both of us.

18. We share similar boundaries and values around friendships and socializing (time, closeness, opposite-sex friends, etc.).

19. We communicate in a way that makes me feel understood.

20. Our plans for where to live long-term (city/suburb/rural, country, proximity to family) are compatible.

21. We have compatible views on religion/spirituality and how it should (or should not) show up in daily life.

22. I feel confident we could navigate major life changes together (moves, career shifts, illness).

23. We agree on what financial security means and how to pursue it (budgeting, investing, planning).

24. We agree on how much independence versus togetherness we want in a long-term relationship.

25. We agree on how to approach major purchases and shared financial decisions (cars, home, large expenses).

26. We can disagree in public or around others without embarrassing or undermining each other.

27. We avoid bringing up old unrelated issues when discussing a current problem.

28. If we get heated, we can take a break and return to the conversation calmly.

29. We can talk openly about difficult topics without it becoming damaging or unsafe.

30. We can talk about difficult topics without either of us shutting down or exploding.

31. Our attitudes toward generosity and helping others (family, community, charity) are similar.

32. We can laugh together and enjoy each other's humor.

33. We respect each other's boundaries and personal space.

34. We want similar things out of life over the next 5–10 years (e.g., where to live, lifestyle, priorities).

35. We want similar levels of travel/adventure versus staying close to home in the long term.

36. I feel supported by this person in ways that matter to me.

37. When we disagree, we usually find a solution that feels fair to both of us.

38. When we talk about the future, our plans feel complementary rather than competing.

39. We enjoy spending time together in ordinary moments, not just special occasions.

40. After spending time together, I generally feel recharged or grounded rather than drained.

41. We share similar priorities around career versus personal time (work-life balance).

42. We want a similar day-to-day lifestyle (social life, routines, travel, downtime).

43. Our conflict patterns tend to lead to repair rather than lingering resentment.

44. When I share something important, I feel heard and understood by them.

45. We have similar expectations about supporting extended family (time, care, finances).

46. We have compatible attitudes about risk-taking and stability (financial, career, life choices).

47. Even when we differ, we stay respectful and avoid personal attacks.

48. Day-to-day life with this person feels easy and natural most of the time.

49. We can disagree about plans or priorities without it turning into a personal attack.

50. Our long-term goals (life direction, priorities) seem compatible.

51. We tend to bring out the best in each other.

52. If one of us makes a mistake, we can acknowledge it and take responsibility.

53. Our views on money (saving, spending, risk, debt) feel compatible.

54. We handle stress (work, family, finances) in ways that complement each other.

55. Our core values (e.g., honesty, family, lifestyle) feel aligned.

56. Overall, I feel confident that our core values are compatible enough for a lasting partnership.

57. Our approach to money and spending feels compatible enough for a shared life.

58. We focus on solving the issue instead of trying to “win” the argument.

59. We are on the same page about whether we want children (or not) and what parenting would look like.

60. We agree on what loyalty means (prioritizing the relationship, handling attraction, protecting trust).

61. Our approaches to handling major life transitions (job changes, moves, illness, caregiving) feel compatible.

62. We can comfortably talk about needs and preferences (emotional, practical, physical) without shame.

63. I trust this person to have my best interests in mind.

64. We have similar views on health habits and wellness (diet, exercise, substance use, sleep, medical care).

65. When one of us is upset, the other makes a real effort to listen before responding.

66. We are aligned on personal growth and learning (therapy/coaching, self-improvement, new experiences).

67. Our lifestyles fit well together (socializing, routines, energy levels, independence).

68. I feel emotionally safe being fully myself around this person.

69. We clarify misunderstandings quickly instead of letting them linger.

70. We check our assumptions (""Did you mean...?""), instead of jumping to conclusions.

71. Our expectations about dividing household labor and mental load in the long run are aligned.

72. We can compromise in a way that feels fair to both of us.

73. We are aligned on what we want our relationship to build toward (shared goals, milestones, timeline).

74. Our expectations about commitment and relationship structure are aligned (e.g., exclusivity, future planning).