Should I Leave My Husband Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. How are consent and capacity handled if you are asleep, highly intoxicated, ill, or otherwise unable to participate clearly?
He waits until I can participate clearly and checks for my agreement.
He sometimes starts intimate touching based on routine, but pauses immediately and accepts my response.
He tends to rely on past permission and only checks after I appear disengaged or object.
He has had sexual contact with me while I could not consent, or used force, threats, or a prior agreement as permission.
2. How much do worries about his physical reaction shape your behavior?
I routinely monitor his mood, plan exits, or avoid being alone with him during difficult conversations.
They do not shape my behavior; I can raise concerns without anticipating physical intimidation.
I have changed plans or complied because he threatened, restrained, or physically harmed me.
I occasionally postpone a topic because his anger feels intimidating, even though I do not expect physical harm.
3. When you are ill, overwhelmed, or need essential care, what is his typical response?
Support may be limited by stress, money, illness, disability, or unavailable services, but he acknowledges my needs and tries to cooperate.
He deliberately withholds necessities or medical help, exploits my vulnerability, or threatens consequences for seeking care.
He regularly dismisses my needs, uses prolonged silence, or leaves responsibilities unmet without trying to discuss alternatives.
He responds with care or helps make a workable plan, even when resources are limited.
4. During conflict, how does he speak about you as a person?
He has used humiliation, identity-based attacks, threats, or private information to frighten or control me.
He can become sharp or impatient, but criticism usually stays focused on the immediate issue.
He addresses the problem without attacking my worth, intelligence, appearance, or sanity.
He repeatedly calls me names, mocks my vulnerabilities, or tells me that nobody else would want or believe me.
5. If you do not want sex or affection, what effect does that have on the rest of the relationship?
He may become briefly quiet or disappointed, but ordinary kindness and practical cooperation continue.
My choice is accepted without punishment or loss of ordinary care.
He uses prolonged guilt, coldness, accusations, or withdrawal of affection to pressure me.
He threatens abandonment, money, housing, exposure, harm, or other serious consequences to obtain sexual contact.
6. Which statement best reflects your physical-safety situation right now?
Tension seems to be escalating, and I would feel better checking in with someone or staying elsewhere.
There has been a recent injury, direct threat, confinement, or immediate danger.
I feel unsettled by recent anger, but there is no specific threat and I can take space.
There is no recent threatening event, and I can take physical space without interference.
7. Suppose you try to leave the room to cool down during an argument. What is most likely?
He follows me or keeps pressing the argument, making it difficult to get space even without physically stopping me.
He lets me step away, and we can return to the issue later.
He blocks me, restrains me, takes my keys, or threatens consequences if I leave.
He continues through a closed door or by text for a while, but does not prevent me from leaving.
8. What happens when you spend time with friends, relatives, coworkers, or other sources of support?
He may express discomfort or want more couple time, but he does not obstruct contact.
He supports reasonable outside relationships and does not punish me for maintaining them.
He uses guilt, repeated interrogation, monitoring, or accusations that make contact exhausting.
He has prevented contact, confined me, impersonated me, or threatened me or others over a relationship.
9. When a disagreement becomes heated, which description best matches what usually happens?
We can disagree while keeping physical space open and allowing either person to leave.
He may raise his voice or move close enough that I feel tense, but he does not threaten or restrain me.
I sometimes choose the room, timing, or wording carefully because his anger can feel physically unpredictable.
He has hit, shoved, restrained, blocked an exit, threatened physical harm, or used a weapon against me.
10. After you explain that his behavior hurt you, what usually follows?
He listens, takes appropriate responsibility, and makes observable efforts to change the specific pattern.
He retaliates, threatens me, destroys support or resources, or escalates because I raised the concern.
He may apologize, but the same pattern returns without much follow-through.
He usually denies what happened, blames me for causing it, or insists that my reaction is the only problem.
11. What role do objects, doors, or driving play when he is angry?
He sometimes slams doors or handles objects roughly, which puts me on edge.
He has used an object or vehicle as a weapon, made a direct threat with one, or caused an injury.
These are not used to express anger or frighten me.
He has damaged objects or driven aggressively during an argument, even without directly threatening me.
12. What happens around intimate photos, messages, or recordings?
He has recorded, shared, or threatened to share intimate material without my permission.
He asks before creating, keeping, or sharing anything intimate and accepts my answer.
He sometimes pressures me to send or show intimate material, but eventually accepts my refusal.
He repeatedly demands access, checks my devices for intimate content, or keeps material after I ask him to delete it.
13. Imagine you introduce a new intimate boundary that differs from what you previously accepted. What is most likely?
He treats past consent as permanent and may retaliate, threaten, or proceed despite the new boundary.
He asks questions and respects the new limit, even if adjustment takes time.
He seems frustrated and asks me to reconsider, but ultimately follows the boundary.
He repeatedly tests the limit, frames it as something I owe him, or keeps negotiating after I ask him to stop.
14. How are money, documents, transportation, and major household decisions handled?
His preferences carry more weight in some areas, although I still have practical access and a meaningful say.
He has hidden or taken essential documents or money, denied necessities, or threatened housing or financial ruin to control me.
I need permission, face close monitoring, or have limited access that makes independent choices difficult.
We may divide responsibilities, but I retain practical access and a voice in decisions affecting me.
15. When you say no or ask to stop sexual activity, how does he respond?
He stops without trying to change my answer.
He may show disappointment, but he stops and does not keep pressuring me.
He repeatedly argues, bargains, sulks, or uses guilt after I have said no.
He has continued, forced contact, restrained me, or threatened consequences after I refused.