Relationship Compatibility Test

1. My partner and I validate each other’s feelings even when we don’t agree on the facts.

2. We avoid stonewalling (shutting down, refusing to talk) when something is wrong.

3. When I share a concern, my partner responds with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

4. We have compatible expectations about maintaining friendships and social life as a couple.

5. We have compatible attitudes about money (spending, saving, financial priorities).

6. The differences between us feel manageable rather than deal-breaking.

7. We handle responsibilities (chores, planning, logistics) in a way that feels fair.

8. Even when we differ, we can compromise without resentment building up.

9. I can be myself around my partner without feeling I have to hide important parts of who I am.

10. In conflict, we try to find solutions rather than trying to “win.”

11. Our attitudes toward saving, spending, and financial risk are compatible.

12. I feel understood by my partner most of the time.

13. Our day-to-day lifestyle preferences (routine, pace, social life) fit together well.

14. We have similar views on health and wellness priorities (e.g., exercise, diet, substance use).

15. Our values about what matters most in life are aligned.

16. We can compromise in ways that feel fair to both of us.

17. My partner and I want the same level of long-term commitment (e.g., casual, serious, marriage/partnership).

18. We make an effort to understand what’s underneath a conflict (stress, fear, needs), not just the surface issue.

19. We want similar things for our future as a couple.

20. We can rely on each other in a way that feels balanced and supportive.

21. When we disagree, we usually find a solution we can both accept.

22. We can bring up sensitive topics (money, family, intimacy) in a respectful way.

23. We can talk openly about sensitive topics (sex, money, family) without it derailing the relationship.

24. We agree on how important religion/spirituality (or lack of it) should be in our shared life.

25. We agree on what “a good life” looks like for us (e.g., stability, achievement, adventure, service).

26. We have similar expectations about whether and when to have children (or to remain child-free).

27. We can bring up problems early, before resentment builds up.

28. We respect each other's boundaries and personal space in ways that feel balanced.

29. Our expectations about physical intimacy are generally compatible.

30. We agree on the role extended family should play in our decisions and daily life.

31. After an argument, we usually repair and reconnect rather than staying distant.

32. We have compatible preferences about how much time to spend together versus apart.

33. Our expectations about work-life balance and daily routines feel compatible.

34. We make a good team in practical matters (planning, problem-solving, handling setbacks).

35. We have compatible expectations about emotional support and closeness.

36. Our personal values (e.g., honesty, loyalty, fairness, responsibility) feel fundamentally aligned.

37. Even when we’re frustrated, we keep a basic tone of respect and goodwill.

38. We have similar political or social values in ways that matter for everyday decisions.

39. We agree on how much structure versus spontaneity we want in our future lifestyle.

40. When one of us needs a break during conflict, the other respects that boundary.

41. We have similar priorities about where we want to live (city/suburb/rural, region/country) in the long run.

42. We can talk through disagreements without raising our voices or becoming sarcastic.

43. We are aligned on major financial goals (e.g., homeownership, debt payoff, retirement planning).

44. Our expectations about personal growth and change over time are compatible.

45. When we picture the future, our visions are mostly aligned.

46. Our approaches to handling stress fit well together.

47. We are aligned on how important travel and new experiences are as long-term lifestyle priorities.

48. We have similar expectations about how to share responsibilities long-term (household, planning, caregiving).

49. We generally want similar levels of adventure versus stability in life.

50. Our interests and preferred activities overlap enough to feel satisfying.

51. We communicate in ways that work well for both of us.

52. Overall, my partner and I are a good match.

53. My partner and I listen to understand each other, not just to respond.

54. We clearly express what we need instead of expecting the other to guess.

55. We have compatible expectations about sexual exclusivity and relationship boundaries.

56. My partner and I share similar expectations about commitment and loyalty.

57. We are able to take responsibility and apologize when we’ve hurt each other.

58. Our approaches to decision-making as a couple work well (who leads, how we agree).

59. We are on the same page about big life goals (career, where to live, family planning).

60. My partner and I can discuss feedback about each other’s behavior without it becoming a fight.

61. During conflict, we stay focused on one issue instead of bringing up past problems.

62. Our ways of showing love and affection are compatible.

63. We share similar views on how finances should be managed as a couple (e.g., joint vs. separate accounts, budgeting).

64. When we disagree, we can talk about the issue without attacking each other personally.

65. When I’m upset, I can express it without saying things I regret later.

66. We agree on how to prioritize careers versus personal/family life over the next few years.

67. Our families, cultures, or backgrounds fit together well enough for us to thrive as a couple.

68. If one of us gets upset, we can usually calm down without the conflict escalating.

69. We agree on whether we want to pursue major life changes (e.g., relocation, entrepreneurship, further education).