Is My Husband Controlling Quiz

1. He interferes with my education or training (e.g., discourages classes, won’t support childcare/transport).

2. He expects me to ask permission before going somewhere or making plans.

3. If I don’t share my exact plans, he becomes upset or suspicious.

4. He questions me closely about my day in a way that feels like an interrogation.

5. When I bring up a concern, he turns it around and blames me so the original issue never gets addressed.

6. He checks my phone (messages, call log, photos, or apps) without my permission.

7. He pressures me to share passwords or give him access to my accounts.

8. He insists he has the right to know everything I do because we are married.

9. He suggests I must be unfaithful or lying when I spend time out of his sight.

10. During disagreements, my husband tries to scare or intimidate me (e.g., looming over me, blocking my way, slamming things).

11. He keeps close track of my schedule and gets upset if I’m not where he expects.

12. He pressures me not to work, not to increase my hours, or not to pursue career opportunities.

13. He limits my access to transportation (e.g., keeps the car keys, controls when I can use the car).

14. He pressures me to cancel plans so I can stay home with him.

15. I avoid seeing certain people because I worry about how my husband will react.

16. He shows up unexpectedly to “check on me” or confirm where I am.

17. He uses “transparency” as a reason to demand access to my private conversations.

18. He insists that his version of events is the only “truth,” and tells me I’m imagining or making things up.

19. He insists on coming along or “checking in” when I meet friends or relatives.

20. He threatens self-harm, illness, or “you’ll be sorry” statements to stop me from leaving or to make me comply.

21. He asks for frequent updates about where I am and who I’m with.

22. He keeps financial information (accounts, passwords, bills) from me, limiting my independence.

23. He gets angry or retaliates when I set a boundary (e.g., needing space, ending an argument, saying I’m uncomfortable).

24. He monitors my movements in ways that make it harder for me to go out freely (e.g., frequent check-ins, demands for proof).

25. He pressures me to apologize even when I don’t believe I did something wrong, just to end the conflict.

26. He tries to enlist others (family, friends, kids) to pressure me or “take his side” in conflicts.

27. He blames me for his anger (e.g., “you made me do this,” “look what you made me say”).

28. He expects me to share my calendar, appointments, or work schedule with him to avoid conflict.

29. After a conflict, he acts overly affectionate or apologetic only if I drop the issue and agree to his terms.

30. He expects me to ask permission before making plans outside the home.

31. He follows me from room to room or refuses to let an argument pause so I can calm down.

32. He makes it hard for me to maintain relationships by creating conflict before or after I see people.

33. He gets upset or punishes me (e.g., silent treatment, anger) when I see family without him.

34. He tries to control where I go by setting rules or curfews for me.

35. He uses “jokes” or sarcasm to belittle me when we disagree.

36. He discourages me from having my own hobbies or interests if they don’t involve him.

37. He makes threats about money, housing, or access to shared resources during arguments to gain leverage.

38. He makes me feel guilty or disloyal for wanting privacy (like a private phone or private messages).

39. He checks my social media activity or who I interact with more than feels normal.

40. He repeatedly brings up past mistakes to win the current argument or keep me feeling “in debt.”

41. If I don’t answer, he keeps calling or texting until I respond.

42. He won’t accept “no” and keeps pushing until I give in.

43. If I disagree with him, he punishes me with prolonged silence, coldness, or withdrawal until I give in.

44. I change my opinions, plans, or words to avoid triggering his anger or jealousy.

45. He becomes defensive or angry when I set boundaries about my phone, time, or whereabouts.

46. He pressures me to “prove” my loyalty (e.g., sharing passwords, constant check-ins) during or after conflict.

47. He accuses me of hiding something when I want privacy or alone time.

48. He calls me names, mocks me, or uses insults during arguments.

49. He wants to know details about my conversations with friends or family.

50. My husband expects me to reply to calls or texts right away, even when I’m busy.

51. He threatens consequences (leaving, taking the kids, ruining my reputation, calling the police, etc.) to make me comply.

52. My husband discourages me from spending time with my friends.

53. He tries to control decisions by creating urgency or panic (e.g., “decide right now,” “you’re ruining everything”).

54. He tries to control who I talk to or text (including coworkers or old friends).

55. He expects me to keep my location on or share my location with him.

56. He tracks where I go (for example, via apps, car GPS, or checking mileage).

57. He expects to approve my social media connections or what I post, limiting my interactions.

58. He uses guilt (e.g., “after all I do for you”) to pressure me into agreeing with him.

59. He gets angry or punishes me (silent treatment, criticism) if I change plans.

60. He tries to prevent me from going places on my own.

61. He blocks or disrupts my ability to communicate with others (e.g., takes my phone, limits internet, demands passwords).

62. He insists I provide proof of where I’ve been (receipts, photos, timestamps).

63. He questions my spending or purchases in a way that feels like surveillance, not budgeting.

64. He repeatedly checks in during outings to make sure I’m doing what I said I’d do.

65. He makes me feel guilty for wanting time alone or time away from him.

66. He damages objects, throws things, or hits walls/doors during disagreements.

67. He makes it difficult for me to visit people by controlling schedules, childcare, or logistics without reasonable compromise.

68. He interrupts, talks over me, or won’t let me finish my point during conflict.

69. He accuses me of flirting or cheating without evidence, especially when he feels jealous.

70. He uses my personal vulnerabilities (insecurities, past trauma, private information) against me during conflict.

71. He reads over my shoulder, listens in, or tries to overhear my calls or messages.

72. He discourages me from joining groups, clubs, classes, or community activities.

73. He discourages me from seeking outside support (friends, family, counseling, community resources).

74. I avoid certain activities because I don’t want to deal with his questions afterward.

75. He restricts my access to money or requires me to justify small purchases.

76. He makes negative comments about my friends or family to make me see them less.

77. He tells me where I should be, who I should be with, or how long I should be gone.

78. He monitors or comments on when I’m “online,” active, or last seen in apps.