Am I Dealing with a Narcissist Quiz
Questions: 15 · 10 minutes
1. You calmly point out a factual mistake that affects both of you. What response is most typical?
They check the facts and correct the mistake if needed.
They first defend themselves, then acknowledge the evidence.
They redirect attention to one of my unrelated mistakes.
They attack my character or intimidate me for challenging them.
2. When something goes well for you but they are having an ordinary day, how do they typically react?
They quickly turn the conversation toward why they deserved similar recognition.
They celebrate with me and let the moment remain mine.
They congratulate me, although their interest fades fairly quickly.
They belittle the achievement or create conflict that spoils the occasion.
3. How does this person handle your phone, messages, accounts, or personal belongings?
They sometimes assume access, but stop when I clarify the boundary.
They pressure me for passwords or treat privacy as proof of disloyalty.
They ask before accessing things that are personal to me.
They secretly monitor, seize access, or threaten me to obtain information.
4. You ask this person for ten minutes of attention after a difficult experience. What most closely matches their usual response?
They make room to listen and respond to what I actually said.
They listen briefly, then shift toward a related experience of their own.
They minimize the problem or imply that I am making too much of it.
They ridicule my feelings or punish me for bringing them up.
5. Looking across several conflicts, what pattern is most familiar?
Responsibility can be discussed, and both people sometimes revise their behavior.
Problems calm down, but meaningful repair is inconsistent.
The original issue repeatedly disappears under blame, denial, or accusations against me.
Attempts to address problems reliably lead to intimidation, punishment, or escalating threats.
6. You make plans with friends, relatives, or colleagues that do not include this person. What is their usual reaction?
They demand that I cancel or make continued contact with others costly.
They may want reassurance but do not interfere with the plans.
They respect that I maintain relationships and activities of my own.
They sulk, compete for my time, or make me feel guilty for going.
7. You decline a favor because you do not have the capacity. How does the person respond?
They ask whether I could reconsider, then accept my final answer.
They accept the answer without treating it as a personal offense.
They repeatedly invoke guilt, loyalty, or past favors until I give in.
They threaten consequences or retaliate because I said no.
8. Your emotional need conflicts with something this person wants. What usually follows?
They expect me to set my need aside and frame resistance as selfishness.
They acknowledge both needs and look for a workable compromise.
They treat my need as betrayal and withdraw affection or retaliate.
They negotiate, although some irritation or defensiveness shows.
9. After you reveal something vulnerable, what is most likely to happen later?
They treat it respectfully and do not use it for leverage.
They may respond awkwardly, but they try to keep the information protected.
They refer to it during disagreements to weaken my position.
They deliberately expose or weaponize it to humiliate, pressure, or frighten me.
10. Which description best matches this person's apologies?
They apologize mainly to end consequences, then repeat the same behavior.
They name what they did, acknowledge the impact, and make a concrete repair.
They may apologize imperfectly but make a noticeable effort to change.
They demand that I apologize for being hurt or retaliate when I seek repair.
11. When you make an important personal decision that they dislike, what tends to happen?
They share their view but recognize that the final choice is mine.
They repeatedly pressure me and portray independence as disrespect.
They express disappointment and need time, but do not obstruct me.
They use money, transport, documents, status, or threats to prevent the choice.
12. During a tense exchange, you say you need to pause and return to the conversation later. What happens?
They continue arguing for a while but eventually allow the pause.
They block my exit, follow or bombard me, or threaten consequences for leaving.
They agree on a reasonable time to resume the discussion.
They accuse me of abandonment and use guilt to stop me from taking space.
13. Across everyday conversations, how is attention usually shared?
I often listen at length, while my experiences receive little curiosity in return.
The balance varies, but both of us generally get meaningful space.
They dominate and react with hostility when I try to redirect or contribute.
They sometimes take over, but notice or adjust when it is pointed out.
14. After they make a hurtful comment, you explain its impact. What usually follows?
They say I caused the comment and insist that they are the injured party.
They recognize the impact and discuss how to avoid repeating it.
They threaten, punish, or publicly shame me for raising the issue.
They explain their intent first but later show some understanding.
15. You remember an important conversation differently from this person. How do they handle the disagreement?
They compare details and allow that memory can differ.
They are confident in their version but remain open to evidence.
They insist that my memory is inherently unreliable and use that claim repeatedly.
They fabricate evidence, recruit others to pressure me, or frighten me into accepting their account.