Abandonment Issues Quiz

1. I get jealous easily because I’m afraid someone will choose others over me.

2. I keep parts of myself hidden because being fully known feels risky.

3. If plans change, I immediately worry it means I’m not important and I seek confirmation that I still matter.

4. I get upset when someone I’m close to spends time with other people, even if it’s reasonable.

5. I suspect that if my partner/friend meets someone “better,” they will leave me.

6. I feel a strong urge to check up on someone (messages, social media, whereabouts) to feel secure.

7. I mentally replay conversations to look for signs I was rejected.

8. I get jealous even when I know there is no clear reason to be.

9. Even after someone reassures me, the feeling doesn’t last and I soon need reassurance again.

10. I change my opinions or preferences to match someone else so they won’t leave.

11. When a relationship feels uncertain, I can’t relax until I get reassurance.

12. I feel the need to “test” a relationship by seeing if the person will chase or reassure me.

13. I worry I could be abandoned even when things are going well.

14. I ask “Are you mad at me?” even when I don’t have clear evidence that I did something wrong.

15. I feel calmer only after I get explicit confirmation that someone still cares about me.

16. I struggle to trust that someone’s feelings for me are stable over time.

17. I often overthink what my partner/friend “really meant” and suspect hidden motives.

18. If someone sets a boundary with me, I quickly take it as rejection.

19. I feel anxious when a partner or close friend spends time with other people.

20. If someone seems less affectionate, I quickly fear the relationship is ending.

21. I feel compelled to send extra messages if I don’t hear back, just to make sure we’re okay.

22. When someone is busy, my mind jumps to the idea that I’m no longer important to them.

23. If someone doesn’t respond the way I hoped, I assume something is wrong and seek clarification quickly.

24. I interpret mixed signals as a sign I’m about to be left.

25. If someone cancels plans, I take it as evidence they don’t care about me.

26. When someone gets emotionally close to me, I start looking for signs they will hurt or leave me.

27. I test people’s loyalty (for example, by pulling away or acting cold) to see if they chase me.

28. I compare how often someone messages me now versus before to reassure myself the relationship is stable.

29. I need frequent signs of commitment (messages, affection, plans) to feel secure.

30. I feel uneasy when I don’t know where I stand with someone I care about.

31. I feel a strong need to know I’m a priority to feel okay in a relationship.

32. I feel threatened when someone I’m close to becomes more independent or self-sufficient.

33. I avoid bringing up my needs because I fear it will create conflict and lead to abandonment.

34. I sometimes create distance or start conflict so I won’t be the one who gets left.

35. If someone I care about doesn’t respond quickly, I feel a strong need to follow up to make sure everything is okay.

36. I feel a need to be someone’s “top priority” to feel secure.

37. I say “yes” to things I don’t want because I worry saying “no” will push them away.

38. I hold back from fully trusting because I believe people eventually disappoint you.

39. I often ask people to reassure me that they’re not upset with me.

40. I feel a strong urge to check whether someone is ignoring me (e.g., looking at “seen” status or activity).

41. I feel a surge of panic when someone I love needs space.

42. When a relationship is going well, I feel on edge waiting for something to go wrong.

43. I often think, “They’ll leave once they really know me.”

44. I struggle to trust that someone can care about me without wanting something in return.

45. If someone I care about takes longer than usual to reply, I assume they’re pulling away from me.

46. When I’m upset, I rely on someone else to reassure me before I can calm down.

47. I feel I have to be “easy” or low-maintenance to keep someone close.

48. When I don’t get reassurance, I feel emotionally unsettled for hours or longer.

49. I feel uneasy if I haven’t had recent proof that someone values me (a message, a call, affection).

50. When I feel insecure in a relationship, I repeatedly look for signs that I’m still wanted (messages, affection, attention).

51. I assume people will leave once they see my flaws.

52. I feel I have to monitor the relationship to keep it from falling apart.

53. I worry that if I’m not useful or impressive, people will leave me.

54. If a loved one seems distracted, I need them to tell me directly that we’re okay.

55. I swing between wanting closeness and wanting distance in the same relationship.

56. I feel uneasy when a partner wants consistent closeness or routine contact.

57. I need to hear “I love you,” “I care about you,” or similar words often to feel secure.

58. If I sense distance, I feel an urgent need to fix it immediately.

59. I often apologize or explain myself repeatedly to get confirmation that everything is fine.

60. I often fear that people I’m close to will replace me with someone better.

61. I ask for reassurance about where I stand with someone (e.g., “Are we okay?”) more than most people do.

62. I re-read texts or interactions to reassure myself that nothing is wrong.

63. I worry that people will stop caring about me if I’m not in regular contact.

64. I feel anxious until I receive a reply, even if I know the other person is busy.

65. If someone I care about seems distracted, I assume I am being replaced.

66. I fear that if I ask for what I need, the other person will leave.

67. When someone’s tone changes (in text or in person), I need them to clarify that they’re not pulling away.

68. I feel calm only when I have frequent reassurance that we are okay.

69. I seek frequent check-ins to feel secure in a relationship.

70. Even brief separations (a weekend apart, a few hours of no contact) can make me feel insecure.

71. I become overly accommodating to “earn” closeness rather than expecting it to be mutual.

72. I read “silence” (no calls, no texts, no plans) as a sign I’m being forgotten.

73. I read a lot into delayed replies and take them personally.

74. If I’m unsure about someone’s feelings, I can’t relax until I get direct reassurance from them.

75. I feel strong distress when I’m not included or invited by people close to me.

76. I feel uncomfortable receiving steady affection because it makes me feel dependent or vulnerable.

77. I have trouble believing compliments or affectionate statements unless they’re repeated regularly.

78. Small changes in someone’s tone or energy make me worry they don’t want me anymore.

79. When someone is kind to me, I wonder what they want or when it will change.

80. I worry that I’m “too much,” and that people will leave because of my needs.

81. I find it hard to believe someone will stay close to me long-term.