Is My Husband a Narcissist Quiz
Questions: 81 · 10 minutes
1. He becomes defensive or angry when I give gentle feedback or raise a concern.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
2. He questions where I’ve been or who I was with in a way that feels controlling rather than caring.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
3. He needs frequent praise or admiration to stay in a good mood.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
4. He can be charming or attentive in public, but cold or critical with me in private.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
5. He supports my friendships, family relationships, and interests without trying to control them.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
6. He discourages me from seeing friends or family, or makes it difficult for me to maintain those relationships.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
7. He can apologize without adding “but you…” or blaming me.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
8. He can acknowledge my perspective even when he doesn’t agree with it.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
9. He expects me to adapt to his preferences, but rarely adjusts to mine.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
10. If I disagree with him, he escalates until I give in (raising his voice, repeating himself, not letting it go).
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
11. After a conflict, he takes steps to repair the relationship (e.g., apologizes, changes behavior, follows through).
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
12. He minimizes the impact of his behavior by saying I’m imagining things or remembering wrong.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
13. He expects special treatment at home (e.g., rules apply to others but not to him).
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
14. He uses finances to control me (restricting access to money, demanding receipts, or making me feel afraid to spend).
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
15. He accuses me of doing what he does (lying, flirting, being controlling) when I bring up his behavior.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
16. He uses “jokes,” teasing, or sarcasm to put me down, then says I’m overreacting if I object.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
17. He exaggerates my mistakes to justify his behavior or to keep me feeling “in the wrong.”
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
18. He uses guilt (e.g., ""After all I do for you"") to get me to do what he wants.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
19. He dismisses my feelings as “too sensitive,” “dramatic,” or “overreacting.”
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
20. He reacts as if he’s been insulted when I disagree with him.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
21. He listens without interrupting, mocking, or escalating when I’m sharing something important.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
22. He uses guilt, sulking, or withdrawal to punish me for setting boundaries.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
23. He monitors my phone, social media, or messages—or pressures me to share passwords or show my phone.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
24. He uses my insecurities, past mistakes, or private information against me in arguments.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
25. He exaggerates his importance or acts as if he is superior to others.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
26. He breaks agreements we’ve made (e.g., about money, time, privacy, parenting) and acts like it shouldn’t matter.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
27. When I set a boundary, he punishes me (with sarcasm, withdrawal, threats, or escalating conflict).
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
28. He denies things he clearly said or did, making me question my memory of events.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
29. When I set a boundary, he tries to debate, interrogate, or wear me down until I give in.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
30. If I say something hurt me, he shows genuine concern and wants to understand.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
31. He criticizes me frequently, even about small things, in a way that feels demeaning.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
32. He has little patience for my needs unless meeting them benefits him.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
33. He threatens consequences (breaking up, taking money away, telling others, etc.) when I don’t comply.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
34. He makes me feel responsible for his mood (as if it’s my job to prevent him from getting angry or upset).
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
35. He rewrites history (""That’s not what happened"") in a way that benefits him and leaves me doubting myself.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
36. He tries to control decisions that should be mutual (money, parenting, social plans) without real discussion.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
37. When I tell my husband “no” or ask him to stop something, he respects it without pushing back.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
38. He pressures me to change my mind after I’ve set a clear boundary.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
39. If I need time to calm down, he allows space instead of chasing the argument.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
40. He accepts responsibility for his part in conflicts without making excuses.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
41. He intimidates me during conflict (standing over me, blocking exits, throwing objects, or using a threatening tone).
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
42. He tries to control how I dress, who I talk to, or how I spend my time.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
43. When I set a boundary, he pushes past it, argues it, or treats it as unreasonable.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
44. He expects me to manage his emotions (calm him, keep him happy) while he doesn’t do the same for me.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
45. He moves the goalposts (what he wants from me keeps changing), so I can’t “win” or feel at peace.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
46. He gives me the silent treatment, withdraws affection, or shuts down to punish me or force me to give in.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
47. He punishes me emotionally (withdraws affection, becomes colder) when I don’t do what he wants.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
48. He views compromise as losing, and tries to “win” arguments rather than solve problems.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
49. I feel emotionally safe expressing disagreement with him.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
50. When I bring up a concern, he tells me I'm ""too sensitive"" or ""crazy"" instead of addressing the issue.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
51. He shows little empathy when I’m hurt—he focuses on how my feelings affect him.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
52. He creates drama or conflict right before important events (work deadlines, celebrations, family visits) in a way that derails me.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
53. He seems to lack genuine curiosity about how his actions impact me.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
54. When I bring up a problem, it gets turned around so I end up apologizing or defending myself.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
55. He rewrites events so that he is always the victim or the hero, even when facts don’t support it.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
56. He assumes negative intentions from me (e.g., says I’m trying to control, embarrass, or sabotage him).
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
57. He calls me names, uses contempt, or talks to me in a demeaning way during disagreements.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
58. He withholds information or gives half-truths to maintain an advantage in decisions or arguments.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
59. He pressures me to accept his version of reality, even when I clearly remember things differently.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
60. He brings up my past mistakes to avoid addressing his current behavior.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
61. He gets jealous of my attention toward friends, family, work, or hobbies.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
62. He pressures me to agree quickly and gets angry if I need time to think or say no.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
63. He dismisses or minimizes my feelings when I’m upset (e.g., says I’m overreacting or being dramatic).
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
64. He uses guilt, sulking, or silent treatment to get his way.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
65. He becomes irritated when I receive attention, recognition, or support from others.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
66. He turns my complaints into my fault (for example, ""If you didn’t do X, I wouldn’t react like this"").
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
67. When something goes wrong, he turns the focus onto my flaws instead of discussing the issue.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
68. He rarely offers a sincere apology that includes taking responsibility for his behavior.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
69. When I ask for basic respect (tone, space, time), he acts like I’m being unreasonable.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
70. He tries to recruit others (friends, family, kids) to take his side or pressure me during disagreements.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
71. He insists his version of events is the only truth and refuses to consider my perspective.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
72. He takes credit for successes but blames others (including me) for problems.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
73. He expects special treatment or exceptions to rules that apply to other people.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
74. If he hurts my feelings, he makes a sincere effort to avoid repeating the same behavior.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
75. He acts as if his needs should come first, even when I’m exhausted, sick, or overwhelmed.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
76. He talks about his achievements in a way that feels like bragging or one-upmanship.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
77. He expects me to be loyal to him, but doesn’t show the same loyalty or consideration to me.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true
78. He acts affectionate or apologetic only after I’m ready to leave the conversation, then returns to the same behavior later.
Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
79. He respects my privacy (e.g., phone, messages, personal space) unless we’ve mutually agreed otherwise.
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
80. He reacts with anger or ridicule when I enforce a boundary (e.g., leaving the room, ending the conversation).
Strongly disagree
Disagree
Not sure
Agree
81. He seems uninterested in my thoughts or experiences unless they relate to him.
Never true
Sometimes true
Often true
Almost always true