Compatibility Test

1. We have similar perspectives on religion/spirituality and how much it should influence our life together.

2. We are compatible in how we make decisions (talking it through, splitting tasks, leading/following).

3. We are aligned enough in daily routines (sleep, cleanliness, planning vs. spontaneity) to live well together.

4. Our views on independence vs. togetherness (time alone, time with friends, time as a couple) are aligned.

5. Our political/social values are compatible enough for long-term partnership.

6. We are compatible in how we want to balance work and personal life over time.

7. We align on how to approach major health and wellness choices (diet, exercise, medical decisions) as a couple.

8. We have a shared understanding of what commitment means (e.g., exclusivity, effort, loyalty).

9. We have similar expectations about household responsibilities and fairness.

10. We check that we understood each other (e.g., summarizing or asking clarifying questions).

11. Overall, I feel optimistic about our long-term fit as a couple.

12. We are able to apologize in a way that feels sincere and specific (not just 'sorry you feel that way').

13. We can express anger or frustration without raising the intensity to yelling, threats, or stonewalling.

14. Our communication frequency and responsiveness (texts, calls, check-ins) feel compatible.

15. My partner and I want similar things out of life in the next 5–10 years.

16. I feel emotionally safe being vulnerable with my partner.

17. We are aligned on how to handle shared money (separate vs. combined accounts, shared expenses).

18. If we start to escalate, we are able to pause and come back to the issue later.

19. We share compatible expectations about time with friends, family, and each other.

20. If we want children, we have similar expectations about parenting roles and responsibilities.

21. Our lifestyle preferences (social vs. quiet, routines, cleanliness/order) fit well together.

22. We agree on what counts as a “deal-breaker” in a long-term relationship.

23. We are compatible in how much closeness vs. space we typically want.

24. When we disagree, we can usually resolve it without lingering resentment.

25. Our expectations about marriage (or long-term partnership) are compatible.

26. We have compatible expectations about caring for aging parents or relatives if needed.

27. Our conflict styles fit together well enough to avoid repeating the same fights.

28. After a disagreement, we usually repair (apologize, reconnect, or clarify) instead of staying distant.

29. Even when we don’t agree, we treat each other with respect.

30. We agree on how to handle major financial decisions (saving, spending, debt, investing).

31. We can disagree while still treating each other with respect (no insults, mocking, or contempt).

32. We have compatible expectations about commitment and exclusivity.

33. If one of us feels misunderstood, we keep trying until we reach clarity rather than giving up.

34. We respect each other’s boundaries and independence.

35. We are aligned on what a “good relationship” should feel like day to day (support, affection, teamwork).

36. We tend to focus on solving the problem rather than trying to 'win' the argument.

37. Our differences feel manageable rather than like constant obstacles.

38. We agree on what we want to build together (home, family, projects, community, legacy).

39. When we imagine our future, the picture we each describe is mostly the same.

40. We can give each other feedback without it turning into a personal attack.

41. We are able to talk about logistics (money, chores, plans) in a calm and practical way.

42. We generally trust each other and don’t often feel suspicious or uneasy about the relationship.

43. We show affection in ways that feel satisfying to both of us.

44. We agree on the role our extended families should play in our relationship decisions.

45. If we want children (or do not want them), we agree on that and on the general approach to parenting.

46. We share enough common interests or enjoy each other’s worlds enough to feel connected.

47. We are aligned on major life goals (career direction, where to live, lifestyle).

48. We tend to want similar things out of a long-term relationship.

49. When one of us is upset, the other usually listens without interrupting or getting defensive.

50. We can talk about difficult topics without the conversation turning into a fight.

51. We can negotiate compromises that feel fair to both of us.

52. My partner and I communicate in a way that usually leaves both of us feeling understood.

53. If a major opportunity required moving, we would likely make a similar choice.

54. We share similar values around honesty and transparency (including uncomfortable topics).

55. We can compromise in a way that feels fair to both of us.

56. We share similar expectations about where we want to live long-term (city/suburbs/rural, region, country).

57. We support each other’s personal growth rather than feeling threatened by it.

58. When one of us needs space during conflict, we can agree on a time to revisit the issue.

59. Our attitudes toward budgeting and day-to-day spending are similar enough to avoid major conflict.

60. We handle stress as a team rather than turning on each other.

61. We are generally aligned on how to spend free time (socializing, hobbies, downtime).

62. Our approaches to finances (saving, spending, debt) feel workable together.

63. We feel like we are on the same team when addressing relationship problems.

64. We have compatible expectations about how to divide household responsibilities in the long run.

65. We have compatible expectations about sex and physical intimacy.

66. We can talk about difficult topics (money, sex, family) without shutting down or exploding.

67. Our priorities (career, family, health, friends, hobbies) generally line up.

68. We have similar views on how much time and money to devote to travel, leisure, and experiences.

69. We both feel safe bringing up concerns without fear of being punished, dismissed, or ignored.

70. We both take responsibility for our part in conflicts rather than blaming the other person entirely.

71. We share similar expectations about sexual exclusivity and relationship boundaries.

72. Our boundaries and expectations around friendships with others (including exes) are compatible.

73. We avoid bringing up unrelated past issues when discussing a current problem.

74. We can talk about feelings (hurt, fear, disappointment) without the other person shutting down.

75. Our core values (e.g., honesty, family, priorities) feel compatible.

76. We are on the same page about whether we want children (or not).

77. During disagreements, we ask for what we need instead of hinting, sulking, or expecting mind-reading.

78. We are aligned on what “financial security” means and how to pursue it.